Bound in their Bones (original version)
by ladylately
Summary: IMPORTANT NOTE: This version of the story will no longer be updated, as the date of last update probably indicates. However, a rewrite of this story will be coming soon! Hopefully, better-plotted. Unfortunately, Darcy couldn't generally shut her mouth, even when it might be the wiser course of action. Such as in the presence of a supervillain.
1. Chapter 1

It was less than ten minutes after Jane had walked out of her door, crying with relief, that Darcy met him for the first time.

Jane had come over the small studio Darcy was now renting (having, wonderfully, finally graduated with Jane's credits and been immediately snapped up by S.H.I.E.L.D to do exactly fuck-all) to watch the live coverage on the news and worry. Jane had said that she hadn't wanted to be alone, and that she'd been afraid. Which was totally reasonable. Thor had told them all (Darcy, Jane, and a strangely-behaving Eric, which made so much sense _now_…) what had happened after his sudden departure to Asgard, and that included his brother's threats against poor Jane. But it had been completely pointless to be afraid, then. Jane had started sympathy crying. As you do when your boyfriend's batshit little brother offs himself in the most melodramatic way possible. Darcy was not in the habit of thinking nice things about people who had tried to _kill her._ As collateral damage, no less! Darcy had awkwardly hugged him, and Eric had just taken a pull from the flask he'd taken to carrying and patted Thor on the back in a stoic and manly fashion before excusing himself.

And then Thor had been scooped up by S.H.I.E.L.D. in the same way Eric had, except this time Jane (and Darcy herself, in a valiant effort to defend her internship and get in with the hot new capes) had refused to just let him disappear again. So they'd all packed up and moved to _New York_, across the country! She'd missed her own graduation day for it, not that Darcy really cared anymore. She was to remain an assistant to Jane and sort-of S.H.I.E.L.D. employee until the 'current crisis', or whatever that was, was over. Superheroes were a lot more interesting than having to choose between social work and law school.

It had turned out the 'current crisis' was Loki, and Jane had started having nightmares. Darcy had tried to tell her that the whole 'paying a visit' thing had just been heat of the moment, villains had better things to worry about than…heroes'…girlfriends… Darcy had shut up then. She read comics. She knew the score. The love interest never survives. So Jane had started coming over every time Thor and the 'Avengers' and his little bro made the news.

It had been getting worse for months. People had died, mostly S.H.E.I.L.D. personnel, but there had been the odd civilian. Like that poor homeless guy who'd been crushed and bled out before paramedics had been cleared to go to him. A guy Darcy had had a nice flirtation with had been…vaporized. Not in front of her, thank god, but damn. There were benefits to being one of the few local friends of the hero's girlfriend, and never being at the scene of an attack if it could be helped was one of them.

So when Loki appeared in front of her, in the doorway to her bathroom, Darcy was somewhat surprised.

They both froze for a moment, disoriented. He was looking…worse for the wear. Covered in filth and blood and wounded and barely standing. But he was terrifying, nevertheless. He grabbed her by the throat, infinitely quicker on the uptake than she was, and squeezed.

"_Where is she? _The pathetic mortal, I can win here at least!" He screamed at her, spittle flying in her face as she choked. "I know she was here, I felt her! _WHERE IS SHE?"_

Darcy couldn't breathe. Like, at all. All she could do was vainly try to gasp an answer at the psycho yelling at her as she tried to sink her nails into his hands.

"Always ALWAYS I tell him he has to learn that he is not ready that he is not worthy and then this stupid pathetic mortal woman has him for a week and it's all better and he's ready to be king and I am ruined and shamed and made fool of again!" Almost he looked as if he was crying as he spat the next words out. "Again I am the spare brother the child the liar the mischief-maker who can do no right and I am _wrong_ and _evil_ for wanting to destroy those _monsters_ once and for all and I- will- not- have- it-! _WHERE IS SHE?_" Darcy was seeing red spots before her eyes, and her lungs were burning, and she could feel the tears and snot on her face along with the fucker's spit and she was going to fucking _die_ because fucking Jane had to go and be wooed by the cut homeless guy.

With that last scream, Loki's face so close to hers that she could feel his breath on her, the strength seemed to go out of him. His hand relaxed and she took her first breath in what seemed an eternity. He swayed, and Darcy had enough sense to shove at him with what energy she could muster. Loki collapsed, falling to the side and away from her with her push, and Darcy sank to her knees sobbing and drinking the air in. She wasn't dead.

She _wasn't _dead.

Of course, now she had a bleeding, murderous, possibly dying supervillain halfway in her bathroom. As she gulped down air and tried not keel over from sheer panic and terror, Darcy worried.

Thor had recovered from a broken neck- she'd seen how his head twisted!- just as soon as he'd gotten his pseudo-godly powers back. She had no idea what it would take to kill one of those people, and the blood coming out of him wasn't so much pooling dramatically as it was oozing sluggishly. Fuck. So maybe he'd survive after all (Darcy was sure Thor would be _gleeful_ about that, too, attempted asphyxiation nothing), and then he'd still be here. In her home. Definitely trying to kill Jane, possibly killing her as a sort of appetizer. On the bright side, if the thought of that and the actual experience of being strangled by holy-crap-_Loki_ didn't make her pee her pants, nothing ever would.

The first thing Darcy did as soon as she could stand was grab her taser from her bag by the front door. The second thing (after, of course, aiming her one precious defense at the unconscious God of Mischief and sitting back down) was that she tried to call S.H.I.E.L.D. No dice. Her cell, her landline—nothing. She even tried the general phone down the hall, and just got static. She even tried to email them or Thor. No wi-fi.

So she had a choice. Leave, and try to contact someone once she was out of range of what was probably some sort of background protective spell-thingy he had going on. Highly appealing. On the other hand, she'd be leaving him alone in her home with her neighbors none the wiser. Somehow Darcy couldn't imagine herself mustering up the balls to actually run screaming a warning once the initial panic had faded. Maybe he'd wake up and actually _find_ Jane. They'd watched as much of the fight as they could, bless those nutjob reporters. The whole crew had looked almost as bad as the supposedly-defeated one lying just there. Darcy wouldn't bet on Jane's safety if he woke up and tracked her through whatever creepy _feeling_ thing it was he'd mentioned.

She could duck and run and try to get help, which her brain was telling her was the smart option right now. Or she could play the hero, which her brain was adamantly _against_ but her compulsive snarker and her inner comic nerd LOVED. Fuck. FuckfuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK.

She would stay, and she was so completely going to die, wasn't she? Darcy tried not to cry. Again.


	2. Chapter 2

Darcy failed, but she was _slightly_ stressed, so she tried not to feel like too much of a wuss over it. She got up for the umpteenth time, this time giving the prone and sadly no longer bleeding figure on her floor a swift kick in the spot she'd seen the most leakage from. That got it started again. Nice. Darcy stepped over him into the bathroom and used the door to awkwardly push him out. After she cleaned up her face as best she could, she examined her neck and cringed. Bruises already, which meant that in a few hours it would be _destroyed._ She could barely swallow a handful of water, so maybe it wasn't such a bad thing the phones were out.

Cleaning herself up had made her feel a bit better, and she had used a scarf to strap a couple of flexible ice packs to her neck, hoping that that would keep any further swelling down. Now to the supervillain who'd tried to kill her. Rude.

He really was disgusting. Darcy thought that maybe she should be kind of pleased that he'd landed somewhere there wasn't even the cheap stuff that passed for carpet in this place (she'd never lived in New York before, and S.H.I.E.L.D. funding or not this place was a shithole. At least she could actually walk ten feet in it), but she couldn't muster any sort of pleasant emotion regarding the…_thing._

Probably he wouldn't be too happy at being left in an awkward pile one her floor, though. Keeping him relatively happy was probably the key to keeping her and Jane alive until…until what? She couldn't call anyone, and no one knew he was here except her. Crap. She'd really not thought this through. And now she was kind of freaking out again because she'd wasted so much time trying to make herself feel better that if she ran out now he might wake up and Jane would definitely die and…she took several deep, painful breaths, trying to calm herself down again.

Okay. He wouldn't like being left on the floor. So get him off of the floor. She could deal with that, right? He was, like, stupid tall, but skinny as a rail and Darcy had muscles from hauling books, right? Right. Of course, she couldn't exactly fit a couch in here, so the bed it was. Except he was totally gross. Mud and blood and yuck that was not going on her sheets. So clean him up.

She forced herself through the motions, dumping a few large bowls of water on him to start off. Darcy managed to get his boots and coat and weird metal asymmetrical shoulder pad thing off of him, but the rest of it was just bizarre. Who the hell needed so many straps everywhere? Most of them didn't even connect to anything! At least the second layer looked a bit cleaner. The other stuff she dumped in the tub without water just to get rid of it. Next, wounds. Thankfully most of the stuff on his body was _conveniently_ placed near a large gash in his clothing. Soap and water couldn't hurt, but exfoliating body wash might be pushing it. Whatever, he was the one who decided to pass out in her bathroom/kitchen instead of a hospital. It was a good thing he was passed out; else she'd seriously be dead now.

Dry him off next, and layer all the rest of her towels on her bed in case he bled through the bandages (why did she even _have_ gauze? Did anyone ever buy it or did it just appear as needed? Bandage-fairies, nice) since her attempt at cleaning had gotten all the wounds started again. Oops. Her arms under his, and _heave._ Damn he was heavy, but she thought she could manage. How did you even cope wearing all that leather? The outfit alone had to weigh like twenty pounds. His thankfully non-greasy head (yes she'd washed his hair, it was as gross as the rest of him and he probably had crazy-lice or something) lolled against her chest, getting her shirt wet. She stuck her tongue out at his sleeping (he still snarled. Not cute) face, her hands too occupied with hauling his bony-yet-heavy ass to properly flip him off.

There. All sort-of comfortably arranged. She went to attempt to dry her floor up some, and, after that, thought to write a note. He'd been faster than her when he'd appeared, wounded or not. A note might distract him enough for her to get the jump on him, yeah?

'Hi, I'm Darcy! I've been nice to you, so please don't kill me, kay? :)' She folded it in half so it would stand up on his chest with the words facing him, and paused. Now what? No internet, no fun. This sucked more than she thought it had. Well, she could catch up on her reading.

Darcy settled down on the floor next to her bed, back leaning against the frame and boxspring, with a hilariously awful smutty romance novel about witch sisters. And waited.

Loki dreams as his body tries to patch itself. He dreams of watching his hands turn that hated blue, revealing his own monstrosity; of watching them blacken with frostbite and the flesh falling away to reveal veins and bones made of ice. He feels what is left of himself melt and vanish in a single blast of heat from the Destroyer, no longer under his control.

He sees Thor, his brother, as a child laughing. Loki knows that he is a child too. Thor turns to their father (no, not Loki's father, for Loki's father would be dead by his own hand in the years to come) and boasts, laughing, that one day he will kill all the monsters and bring Asgard glory. Still smiling, he turns to Loki and stabs him with a strange and poisoned spear.

This time he is in Asgard, again on the throne. The Warriors Four bow to him, and he sees Sif smile and knows that they are friends again. Thor stands at his right hand, aide to the king but not the king, and Loki knows that their father and mother are well, only taking a rest. Loki smiles, content, and opens his mouth to declare this day a day of feasting and celebration.

He wakes with a start, and all his pains are upon him again.

There was a note on his chest, and it took Loki a moment for his spinning mind to right itself enough for him to read the mortal runes. They were written in a sloppy and shaky hand, not helping matters much. At the end of the plea there was a strange symbol that he supposed would look like a smiling face if one hadn't often been acquainted with faces in general, or had any knowing of how they worked. Lovely.

Loki closed his eyes again for a moment, trying to recall where he was and how he had gotten there. Ah, yes. There was that wonderful sense of crushing failure coming back to him now. Shame and anger filled him as it had before, but now it was distant. Cold, one could say, and he smirked at his own sad little joke. His brother had won yet again, and he'd stopped feeling the sting of that ages long past. Thor had weakened, though, softened by his infatuation with a rather boring mortal woman. Loki had observed her, as he had observed the mortals in the group calling themselves 'the Avengers' like children playing at being an army.

He'd thought to kill her after his defeat, he could remember that now, and the idea still appealed. But not yet. Loki had to heal first, or risk being thwarted again. After that, however…he could have a game.

With a sneer, he crushed the paper in his hand and moved to sit up. His body practically screamed at him to lie back down again, and as he couldn't exactly walk while blinded with agony, Loki complied. Rolling over gingerly, he tried to view the unfamiliar surroundings. There was some sort of rough and absorbent fabric under him, and he picked at it with absentminded disgust.

The bed he was lying on was pushed into a corner. Despite this attempt at making room, the opposite wall was barely three feet away. The room was crowded with only a nightstand and dresser, a pile of colorful magazines (he thought about half of them were the things called comic books), and a single lonely shelf of books. Appalling.

Below him and sitting next to the bed was a mortal girl he could vaguely recall seeing in the presence of sweet Jane Foster, and Loki realized after a moment that she was the girl he'd screamed at in his hurt. She was slouched over a thin book, and odd wires seemed to plug into her ears like she was just another of their mortal machines. A scarf and two pouches of strange blue liquid lay next to her, adding to the clutter and mess of the tiny room. She had not stirred despite his attempt at moving himself, and Loki was insulted at the slight until he heard the slight whisper of noise coming from possibly the wires.

He slipped his hand around her throat again almost gently, and he felt her jerk with surprise and fear. One of her hands yanked the wires out of her ears while the other pulled at his wrist, despite the fact he was not yet doing anything to harm her. "Mortal, it was perhaps foolish of you to turn your back on me, nice or not, yes?" said Loki.


	3. Chapter 3

Darcy froze at the touch, a shriek dying in her sore throat as she yanked out her earbuds and turned her torso to halfway face him. She groped for her taser, not daring to take her eyes off her unwelcome guest for a second now that he was awake, and shoved it into his chest. "Hands off, asshole." Darcy tried to make her voice sound as confident and angry as possible. Maybe if she sounded badass she'd feel it too. The harshness in her voice was greatly helped along by the injury done to her throat, and Darcy supposed that it was only fitting.

Unfortunately for her, the hand on her throat meant she couldn't tase him _quite_ yet. Darcy wasn't exactly sure if skin would even conduct electricity, but she'd never live it down if she accidentally tased herself by association. That was the sort of thing not-actually-witty anecdotes ending in 'karma's a bitch, huh?' were made of. Her fingers itched.

Loki laughed lightly, and smirked at her. "Yes, _quite_ frightening, mortal." His hand moved to stroke her cheek lightly, but his eyes burned. Darcy did not let go of his wrist, nor moved her taser. "Do not presume to threaten me, little girl. Injured though I may be, I am still a god." He paused, and for a moment he looked more thoughtful than cruel. "Though I suppose I should thank you for tending my wounds, should I not? Bad manners, after all, are more my dear brother's jurisdiction…" He pulled his hand from Darcy's defensive grasp, and went to push his still-damp hair back from his face.

Darcy took the opportunity to tase him.

Loki awoke to find he still couldn't move, although this time it was rather less because of pain (though it still threatened to overwhelm him) and more because he appeared to have been partially cocooned. He twist his head angrily, and saw the mortal was now sitting on the edge of the tiny bed, next to him, and was back to her book. He snarled. "You _will_ release me!"

Darcy looked up from her book at him, and gave him a lazy smirk. "Actually, I don't think I could get you out of that stuff unless I cut you out, at this point. What you get for strangling me and then sort-of threatening to do it again." She closed her book, and Loki repressed a slight internal shudder at the sight of her dog-earing the pages. Darcy leaned over to muss his hair, grinning. "It's good you're awake, though. I've been getting pretty tired of hearing your snoring, dude."

It had turned out that even if Loki hadn't had his powers taken away like Thor on that day over a year ago, he was still weak enough to be knocked out. Darcy had wasted no time after that putting knowledge gained from being a former Girl Scout who envied the Boy Scouts to good use. She'd used a mixture of duct-tape, hair ties, and some nylon rope she'd borrowed from the guy down the hall who made hammocks. Now his legs and forearms were bound together from the wrists and ankles to his elbows and knees, respectively. For good measure she'd also tied the end of each length of rope to a leg of her bed, and strapped him down with tape to boot.

She spoke again: "I'm guessing since you're bothering to ask me to release you instead of just popping out like you popped in, you're out of juice?"

"Release me, damn you, or you will regret this! I swear it!" Loki lacked even the energy to struggle against his bonds more than a tug or two just to show he wasn't defeated.

"So you can…what? Keep lying there until you've rested enough to go off Jane? Yeah, that's going to happen." Darcy paused thoughtfully. "Not that I know what to do with you, anyways, since I still can't call S.H.I.E.L.D and I'm sure as hell not going to leave you alone. Crap."

He sneered at her even more than before, if that was possible. "Being restrained does not keep my magic from returning to me, mortal. It is only a matter of time until I have my revenge, and now I have very good reason to kill you as well."

"Okay, point for you. But untying you isn't really going to change your mind about those things." Darcy paused, looking at him hopefully. Loki only rolled his eyes in response. "Didn't think so. But Jane's probably all over Thor right now, and will be for, like, weeks. That's totally your fault, by the way. She doesn't see him for months, and then you're trying to kill him again? Dude. She's going to glue herself to him for, like, a year or something. At the minimum. And he kind of kicked your butt-" She took out her phone and checked the time. "-yesterday."

He smiled at her, and Darcy felt a reflection of that same panic she'd felt in the first moment he'd choked her. "Very true, mortal. That does not explain why I should not merely kill you instead. I have seen you as I observed Jane Foster. You are friends, yes? I am sure the murder of her faithful assistant and trusted confidante would cause her much grief. And, in turn, my brother as well." His smile grew wider, and there was a good deal more teeth involved than Darcy felt entirely comfortable with. "Yes, I rather like that plan. Kill the fool mortal who thinks she can best me, leave my dear brother feeling as if he's unable to help his love. He's never been very good at grief, you know."

Darcy mouth twisted, halfway between a thoughtful frown and the slightly manic grin she always got when she started babbling nonsense at someone. "Um. Man, you're not supposed to win at this. Uh…" She chewed a moment on her bottom lip, thinking. "Hey! I totally did best you! I mean, just 'cause you can escape _eventually_ didn't mean I didn't totally kick your skinny butt. And you should show a 'formidable opponent', respect, right? Right! So you should really use my name. It's Darcy. I put it on the note. Darcy Lewis?" He only stared at her imperiously. "Worth a shot. But I was also way nicer to you than I should have been. For one, you're a supervillain who just tried to kill some pretty cool people I work with, sort of. And then you almost killed me too, which means you so owe me. Even with the tying-up, you are still super in my debt. _And_ I'm totally hilarious."

Loki laughed again, but this time there seemed to be a genuine thread of amusement in it this time. A tension that Darcy hadn't realized had been in her relaxed, and she listened as he spoke. "So you are. Darcy Lewis. Very well. I shall not kill you, nor Jane Foster until my debt has been relieved. In return, you will release my bonds…_as well as_ refrain from informing your S.H.I.E.L.D. agency that I was ever here."

Oh, the catch. Of course. Darcy winced slightly, but nodded after a moment. It was still a much better deal than she'd had when he first invaded her space. "Sit tight," she told him, and untied the ropes from the legs of the bed first so he could at least put his arms down. The duct-tape after that was easy. "You want to sit up? This is going to take a while, sorry." He nodded, and she helped him lean against her crappy headboard.

By the time she was done undoing all the knots, he said he was ready to go. Loki stretched his arms as best he could, rotating his wrists and getting the stiffness out, even through the pain of movement. He supposed even…_his_ kind should heal quickly, not unlike the Aesir. He grimaced, and Darcy paused in the act of helping him get his armor back on, her eyes panicked even if her expression was sardonic. After a moment, the girl shrugged and went back to adjusting his spaulder. When she was done, he nodded a goodbye, and disappeared.

Darcy stared at the space where the lanky god had been, an immense feeling of relief washing over her. Just to check he was really gone, instead of just turning invisible and messing with her, she called Jane. The signal got through, but it went to voicemail immediately, telling Darcy that the older woman's phone was off. With a grin, Darcy went to shower and get to bed.


	4. Chapter 4

It took weeks for Loki's wounds to heal, hidden in a cave he had formed of ice in the Antarctic tundra. He despised that he had been forced to run, despised that the safest and most well-hidden place he could find was such a place. Even the fact that the cold could not harm him was nothing more than a reminder of what had brought him to Midgard in the first place. The ice had seemed almost eager as it leapt to do his bidding, and it had been the easiest magic of his life, despite his injuries. It seemed to call to him, telling him how to shape it, begging him to. He could make a palace, and kingdom, he knew. Instead, Loki had merely made a shallow cave and burrowed a tunnel into the frozen wasteland.

He would never allow himself to rule any place but Asgard.

Each night, Loki would sleep for as long as his body let him, preferring his troubled dreams to the hurts and itchings of a healing body. Each morning he woke to the sight of his hands having turned a deep and dead blue. Their color warmed as the pale sun emerged and raised the temperature of the air a degree or two, but it was a reminder. No true son of Odin, said they. No son of anyone, abandoned and unwanted.

Yet still he would make no fire. It would be a waste, for a creature like him.

Often Loki's mind went to his brother, as it had always done, or his brother's mortal woman. Each time it brought back the memories of Thor's _glorious_ return to Asgard, and Loki's anger surged. Many days he would be unable to think beyond a compulsion to destroy as much as he could around him, and Loki would claw at the walls of his self-imposed prison until his fingers bled. Eventually he would tire, curled into a ball and teeth gritted to hold back further screams and rages, waiting for the darkness of sleep.

Thor had made a life here, even gaining a new coterie of followers to praise him. 'The Avengers', they called themselves, like children play-acting at armies. Even with the power of the Cube, Loki had been defeated by those who by all rights should be no more than idiotic _children!_ It was disgusting and, above all, shameful.

Outside his new group of followers, though, Thor had surrounded himself with weaklings, and he could not protect them all. Loki would make sure of it, he must. Sweet Jane Foster would be safe, as Loki had promised her safety to the strange mortal girl, and he would hold to that. Let them have each other, even as everyone around them died screaming. There were other ways to kill a person.

Loki had been foolish, in his desire for power. What use was ruling over mortals? Nothing. He was a prince of Asgard still, and he would not try for another kingdom. Further, his attacks had been obvious. Showing off his new army, trying to make a mighty picture. He would not do so again. Showy, grand gestures had always failed him. Loki had never been mighty, but there were greater things to be. This time, he would stay in the shadows. It was a pity that he had thrown away the advantage of his brother thinking him dead, but Thor still had little idea of what had and would happen to Loki.

Occasionally, in the times between when his rage was spent and before sleep took him, his mind would wander to the strange mortal who had thought she would help him and could best him. Darcy Lewis, hopeless adjutant to Jane Foster, a member of S.H.I.E.L.D. only because she'd been present for too many classified events. He knew that she had studied politics, and that was intriguing. The girl had studied the art of ruling, and yet his sightings of her as he had observed sweet Jane Foster seemed she was content to be the older woman's assistant indefinitely. Strange as well was her brash bravado, so reminiscent of dear Thor. Loki had nearly killed her out of hand, a blip in his path to Jane Foster, and yet she had said that she had bested him. She had sought to bargain with a known liar and a trickster, and he somehow could not bring himself to think her entirely foolish for it.

So went his time of healing, and it was three months passed before Loki was sure that his body and magic were restored to their full capabilities. In that time he had planned as well.

The first step out of his prison was almost like that first heady rush of the drop into the remains of the Bifrost. He had learned from both defeats, and he was again new. The mortals had a saying, did they not? Loki had certainly not died, and so it would go that he was more formidable.

Orchestrating his new scheme was almost too easy. All he needed to do what he had always done best: cause mischief. The mortals depended so thoroughly on so many things, and those systems were ever so delicate. A few switches here, or a few wires there. A simple relabeling of a routine done a thousand times over, just enough to get a worker to stumble and second-guess themselves. It was slow going, but Loki had forced himself to learn patience. A few small towns, isolated but spread out all over the world, where the idea that key systems were not best maintained wasn't so hard to believe. A few more, and larger towns as well. Get them paranoid; get them to blame everything from the weather to the technology to each other.

Even as he did all this, Loki still made sure to put in the occasional public appearance. He had to keep his grand scheme secret, and his brother would know that he could not return to Asgard. Where else was there for him to go from this useless and underdeveloped realm? So Loki would occasionally attach himself to some upstart villain, keeping to the region where he had last been defeated by his brother's followers. Let them think him broken by the Cube, his power stripped away. They would know of their folly soon enough. He made certain that the schemes of his unwitting decoys never came close to his mischief, and he made certain as well that they were always defeated. Chaos and the anguish on his brother's face were one thing, competition entirely another.

It was six months before anyone coordinated enough to realize that the troubles must be more than just a string of unrelated misfortunes, and that was when Loki hit his first major city. Krasnoyarsk, administrative capital of Krasnoyarsk Krai in Russia, was not a difficult target once he got below the surface.

Shut down the hydroelectric dam just a bit upriver, cause the engines to fail in any plane trying to take off, let loose any animals in the zoo. A few suggestions in several rugby hooligans' ears during the blackouts, and the chaos tripled.

It was glorious. He could allow himself one showy gesture in this plan, and there couldn't be anything more perfect. The mortals would know then that their cities were not safe, and they had an unknown threat to find. Clearly it had to be something new, with every other major criminal being so easily caught.

It was the most delighted Loki had been in what seemed like years, and soon he would make his debut.


	5. Chapter 5

Darcy had to practically be dragged to the monthly drink-together (somewhat ironically, originally proposed by Steve to boost team morale). It was almost sad, really. Wasn't she the one who was supposed to be young and sociable? But she'd just been so _tired_ lately, ever since Fury reassigned her from being Jane's assistant.

"Darcy, come on! Steve wants everyone to be there, apparently they've got a provisional new member and he wants them to feel welcome." Jane's voice paused, and Darcy was grateful her ex-boss couldn't see her eyes roll. This was ludicrous. _Jane_ was begging her to go out on the town? Alternate reality, obviously. Better milk it for all it's worth, then. "I think it's another man. Didn't you say something about how half the reason you moved was that you wanted a famous boyfriend? This could be your chance!"

"Okay, that was a joke. Duh. And after seeing what you went through, there is no way I'm ever dating a hero. Waaay too much stress." Darcy paused a moment, teasing her friend, and she could almost see the other woman's mouth opening to try another argument. "But he's probably totally hot, since the rest of them are, and more hot men are always welcome in my life. So I'll come-"

"Thank you! I can't miss, you know how Thor is, and I don't really have anyone to talk to at these things except you because you know how Tony is and Pepper's always trying to water his drinks down and Bruce is just still really freaky to me after-"

"-if you pay my tab, former-boss-lady. You get paid more _and _I don't have a ridiculously cut boyfriend who gets hazard pay to split the rent with."

Jane sighed, her breath causing the connection to crackle with static. "Fine. I'll see you there. Or else." Resigned sighing was probably as badass as Jane ever got.

Darcy still managed to be late to the bar, but that just made it easier to find which spot they'd claimed this time. Despite it overall being a bit crowded, there was always a giant gap around the couple of booths and table that fit the Avengers and co. Jane was glaring, but she'd saved Darcy a seat, and there was a White Russian waiting for. _Yes._

She slid into her seat. "So where's the new kid I've heard so much about, huh?"

Pepper, who for once wasn't glued to Tony's side at the bar (instead he was sitting next to her, looking thoroughly chastened; she kept shooting quick glares at him), answered: "Getting Thor and Steve new drinks. Thor's finally cracked, he doesn't believe he can't get Steve drunk. So it's a drinking contest." The strawberry blonde woman pointed to a nearby booth; poor Cap looked extremely bored and Thor looked like he was about to either smash the table in appreciation or dance on it. No wonder Jane had begged for Darcy to come along.

Just then, a man with auburn hair just long enough pulled into a low ponytail appeared at the table she was watching with two enormous...tankards? They looked like they should be called something like 'tankards'. Steve gave a resigned sigh, and took a long drink of his as the strange man turned and joined the rest of them (sans Natasha and Clint, who were in another booth and arguing over melee versus ranged in a way that said there would sexin' that night). Thor was decidedly sloshier. Darcy felt herself break into a grin. This was gonna be _good_.

For the moment, though, things remained civil. Darcy took a drink as Jane introduced the man. He was the mysterious new member of the Avengers that she'd been talking about on the phone. His name was Ed Hallison, and Darcy supposed he was sort of handsome in a kind of messy way. Average height, average build…he certainly stood out around the likes of the rest of the team. Even Dr. Banner had managed to bulk up more than this guy.

"You look kinda familiar…" Darcy snapped her fingers after a moment of staring at the man, who looked slightly disconcerted at the scrutiny. "You were on the news a while ago, right? That thing in…the Midwest?" Stupid vague memory.

"Indiana, Darcy. That's why S.H.I.E.L.D. picked him up in the first place. The whole facility came down." Yeah, Pepper was definitely highly irate. What the hell did Tony do this time?

"Yeah, but you totally punched the baddie in the face, right? That's pretty awesome." The baddie in this case being Loki. Everyone had learned after the first meeting not to mention the name around Thor if he were anything more than mildly buzzed. Nothing like a little sobbing and table flipping God of Thunder to spice up your night and get an emergency and very hungover meeting called early the next morning by an angry Nick Fury. Darcy hadn't been important enough to be there, but she'd heard the stories. Even Coulson, who wasn't even the one of the ones in trouble had been shell-shocked.

Ed's face quirked, growing into a half-smile. "Ye…Yeah, it was…pretty awesome. I was scared shitless, though." The words come out awkwardly at first, as if they're unfamiliar. His confidence seems to grow as he speak, though, and Darcy can't help but think he's more familiar than just a quick news clip from a month and a half previously that she'd almost forgotten should make him. "I mean, he was wrecking everything and then I just got sick of it and went for it, you know? They showed me the footage afterward, and I turned red and s_piky_. Terrifying. Said the earthquake that took the place down was my fault too."

Jane got up quietly to go speak to Thor and Cap, resting a hand on the blonde god's swaying shoulder. Darcy drained her glass, already feeling a pleasant warmth. Possible placebo effect or not, the first one always went down the fastest because of it. "So are you a mutant or what? Don't they usually start getting-" She wiggled her fingers in the air. "-around puberty? Younger than you look, huh?" Darcy grinned.

He smirked and shook his head slightly. "I've worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. for…about ten years now?" Whoa. Dude had quite the babyface, then. "I had an accident at a research facility about a year and a half ago, it's what got me transferred to Indiana. The doctors they had going over me said that maybe the 'magic' interacted in a weird way with what happened. It was Loki's, right?"

Darcy winced, and she heard the sudden silence from Pepper and Tony that said they had heard the name as well. The group fell silent for a moment, and when Darcy looked over she saw that Jane had frozen with her hand still gripping Thor's shoulder, and he seemed to be shuddering slightly.

Suddenly, the big blond man stood up, jostling the table and causing Jane to stumble. He slammed the most recent empty tankard down onto the table in front of Ed. "My brother has always been a master of magic! It is most impressive, is it not?" He slapped Ed on the back, nearly slamming him face-first into the table. Darcy was halfway between mortification and laughter, half at Ed's startled face and half at Thor. The man was loud even normally, and now he was completely…well…hammered.

"I…you're the brother of that bastard? Damn, I thought I had some shitty family members." Ed's words were awkward again, but he was grinning, trying to make it a joke. Darcy felt herself staring a moment too long at that grin, a thread of panic crawling up her spine. Looking around, she saw that everyone else in the group had averted their eyes as well, and Natasha and Clint looked like they were getting ready to leave. They didn't talk about Loki, not outside of work. It was too weird.

Thor looks dumbfounded a moment, staring at Ed, before stammering out: "He- he is not a bastard. Nor so bad a brother. He is…he is distraught. Confused. I think he is feeling better, though! He does not try so hard to kill us as once he did!" Jane came up next to Thor, finally, resting her hand on his arm, still gripping the handle of the tankard he'd set down.

"Distraught? I was sad when my dog died, but I didn't try to kill people over it. He nearly killed me!" Ed seemed angry and confused at Thor's defense. Darcy knew that feeling, particularly after that little visit nine months before. She'd known by then to keep it to herself, though. Not that she'd tell anyone anyways. That sort of thing would almost definitely get back to the skinny asshole, and she'd bet her and Jane's lives on keeping it mum.

Thor looked like he was halfway between punching Ed in the face or crying. His voice was nearly as unsteady as his feet, and Darcy could see Jane starting to brace herself, just in case. "My brother is confused! He has been through much, he will see the error of his ways eventually! He must!"

Pepper and Tony got up to follow after Clint and Natasha, unwilling to hear more of Thor's protests. Those were the three of the Avengers that had come out the worst from Loki's first, and most successful, attempt at ruling the world. Normal humans against a supposed god? It was amazing they'd survived at all. The two S.H.I.E.L.D. agents had also gotten the least face-time out of it, too, the organization wanting to maintain what cover they had left.

Thor was shaking again, now, and Jane had grabbed a lock of hair by his ear to pull his head down. She was whispering furiously in his ear, and the god was looking more and more deflated as she continued. Ed turned to Darcy, his face clearly asking 'what', but she just shook her head and held up a hand.

"Sorry about killing the mood, guys, but we're going to head back home. He's had a little much against the captain." Jane smiled apologetically and pulled Thor away, leaving the empty tankard on the table. Steve followed after, and Darcy could hear him offering his apologies to Jane and his condolences to Thor. Darcy smiled dreamily. Nice to a fault, and hotter than hell to boot. Shame he was just so…so.

Back to Ed. "Don't mind him. We…just don't talk about Loki. If we can help it. Everybody has their thing, you know?" She got up, looking at her halfway finished drink, and sighed. Jane owed her a decent buzz at least. "I'm just gonna head home, too. Not as fun without everyone here." And you're kind of creepy and rude, bro.

She left without seeing if he had a response, feeling probably more morose than she normally would. Stupid being a maudlin drunk and partway there. She was so absorbed in her thoughts that when she saw who had made himself comfy in her kitchen, Darcy couldn't even react fast enough to get in a proper freak out. Instead she merely closed her door behind her and turned to rest her forehead against it, too annoyed to deal with Loki grinning at her. "That was cruel."

"Hardly. I could have done far worse to him. Why, he won't even die." Darcy turned her head to look as he got up and came towards her still grinning. Of course he was. The panic was full-blown now, that niggling feeling in her gut having grown at the recognition. Or it would be, if her irritation weren't taking up the fore of her mind.

At his words, she paused. Oh god, the contest. "You're such an asshole, you know that?"

His smile only grew as he stopped just short of bumping into her. "I know. Miss me?"


	6. Chapter 6

Darcy turned and ducked, sidestepping Loki neatly. She whipped out her taser and pressed it firmly to the side of his neck as he turned to face her. "Give me one good reason."

Casually he took the taser from her and examines it for a moment, turning it over in hands, before answering. "Because then we would be where we were last time, my dear miss Lewis, and we've already reached that stalemate once. And this time I am not so weak as I was. Would you like to die?" He seemed to consider breaking the weapon in half a moment before smirking and merely pocketing it.

She sighs and rolls her eyes before holding her hand out for her taser. "I never said you could have it. Or are you the god of thieves now too?"

Grinning again, he takes it out and waves it under her nose a moment before turning his hand and making it disappear. "Actually, I am. Why would I leave you with something you insist on threatening me with? You're more foolish than I had thought, mortal."

"Dude, it is a perfectly reasonable reaction to try to tase someone who tried to _kill me._ And, you know, everyone I know. Here. Uh." Darcy stops a moment, having lost her train of thought. "Anyway, so not the point! I should have known it was you as soon as I saw that stupid grin!" She wanted to smack it off him, but he only seemed amused by her words.

"Ah, so I've made an impression, have I? Wonderful to know. You seem rather more astute than my great oaf of a brother. He didn't notice a thing, from the taste of his beer or the look on my face."

"Yeah, it's _slightly difficult _to forget the look on someone's face when they, need I say it again, tried to _kill me. _What are you doing here, anyways? I thought- hoped, even- that I'd never have to see your stupid skinny self again." Darcy smirked. "Feeling lonely? Hope they didn't recognize the weird kid so this time they'd actually pick you for the team? Or could you just not resist trying to impress Thor even after all this? I mean, I know. It's just so much to live up to."

She was gratified to see a brief flash of rage on his face before he controlled himself. "Do you think it wise to test me, mortal? Were I to kill you my presence would still be unknown." He shrugged, the pompous and (she had to admit it) mischievous grin back on his face. "Though that would be not half so entertaining as forcing you to betray my dear brother. Besides, I've long surpassed that idiot. He would have revealed himself by now."

Darcy covered her eyes with her hand tiredly a moment before dragging it down her face and sighing yet again. She wasn't sober enough for this. She probably wouldn't ever be. Gesturing to one of the two chairs at her kitchen table, conveniently placed so as to see the crappy TV she'd bought solely for Jane coming over and worrying, she turned to her fridge. "Since it's clear you're not going to leave me the hell alone, we might as well sit down." And then, because sometimes the manners she'd been taught were just too deeply ingrained: "You want something to drink? Or are you too refined for our filthy Midgardian beverages?"

Loki sat like her flea-mall folding chair is a throne, and she took a moment to appreciate just how ridiculous he looked doing it. Handsome, too, like she should probably expect any Asgardian to be by now, but that was so not the point. "Wine, if one such as you would have it, mortal." He took a quick glance around the tiny room and sneered. "How lowly are you, to live in such a hovel?"

Darcy glared at him before grabbing a disposable plastic cup. She _had_ proper wine glasses, but she felt that she really ought to throw the whole 'broke mortal' in his face as much as possible if he was going to keep bothering her. After getting a cream soda for herself (she did **not** need to drink any alcohol ever while His Dickishness was around, and the sugar and caffeine could only help) she sat across from him and slid his (secretly a week expired, she had hated it so much that she couldn't bring herself to drink it and you just didn't throw wine away) wine over. "Yeah, well, it's not like I have a ton of job experience in my chosen field. Plus, after what's happened with Thor, and you now, it's not like I'm ever getting elected to anything." Goodbye, Senate. She'd remember that dream fondly.

He took the barest of sips from the cheap red, and she had to giggle at the face he made. If he spat on her table, though, she was going to be pissed. And not in the fun, charmingly British way. Loki swirled the wine in the cup for a moment, and it changed to something a richer color and in a proper and haughty crystal goblet. "What _is_ that…piss would be too good a word for it. Watered-down and rotted blood that's been mixed with cheap perfume _might_ do the horror of it justice. Possibly."

"Yeah, well, poor. S.H.I.E.L.D. might be the favored arm of the government right now, but the minions like me are still paid pretty much zero." She grinned and reached for the goblet in his hand. "Change the rest and I promise I won't tattle that Ed's a fake. What are you trying to do, anyways, if you're not trying to get in with the cool kids?"

Loki rolled his and waved a hand, but he pulled the glass out of her reach. "You really ought to stop trying to bargain with me, mortal. One of these days you're going to come off the worse end of it." He frowned as he took a sip, considering her question. "Well, I suppose it is your life for telling, my dear miss Lewis. Do remember that. The Avengers are my wonderful brother's followers here on Midgard, are they not? The Warriors Three- and Sif-" Sweet, willful Sif; a pang he had not felt in decades. "-were ever loyal to him. We grew up together. But it's been made exquisitely clear to me that these mortal fools are not nearly so enamored of him. It is only appropriate that I be the one to break them apart, is it not?"

Darcy clapped her hands in glee at the wave of his hand and got up to get herself a drink. Sobriety could be forgotten if it was for something the super-snooty-'oh you foolish mortals your world sucks'-_god_ would drink. "So far it seems to be working for me pretty we- Wait." She stopped and whirled around to face his at the explanation of his plan. "Seriously? Oh my god, you are so awful I-I cannot even. Ugh." Darcy walked over to him and jabbed a finger into his chest, startling him. He probably didn't think someone as 'lowly' as her would touch him. "The only reason why anyone has a problem is because of _you!_ He's always defending you! Telling people how great you are, no really! What is _wrong_ with you?"

He glared at her hand a moment, and his expression only worsened as her rant continued. His voice was sullen when he finally spoke, and Darcy was surprised at how childish he sounded. "Thor was always so quick to forgive. He expected the same from everyone else as well. No matter what he did, we had to forgive him. No matter how many times he'd done it. _I will not forgive so easily again!" _Loki's voice was harsh at those last words, and Darcy almost pitied him.

But she was angry as well. "Really? That's why you're trying to ruin…everything? Oh my god." She laughs, loudly and meanly, in his face. "That's pathetic. Dude, everyone is an ass when they're a kid. Or even as an adult. Considering that's what he's _sobbed_ to us about when you fell, you were already totally evil at that point. Threatening Jane?" She snorts. "Please. Never threaten the love interest. Hero always wins."

Throughout her tirade, Loki is stunned, merely opening and closing his mouth in silence. Then he snarled and reached for her, and for a moment Darcy thought he was going try to kill her again. And succeed, since he wasn't injured and had her taser disappeared to somewhere. He froze, though, before his hands could reach her, and visibly seemed to settle. Loki sat back down, and took a long draught from his wine, emptying it, and ran a hand through his hair. "The hero always wins, eh? And what would you know of heroes and villains beside what you only hear in idle gossip and the worry of the 'love interest', Darcy Lewis?"

Darcy was so relieved that she couldn't help but grin. "Evil Overlord list, dude. Required reading from my favorite professor back in school. You're hardly a villain without it."

Loki smiled at her, strangely charming in its impishness even as it's chilling. He stands, and she has to take a step back to be able to see him. "Then, Darcy Lewis, I shall read this list, and become more formidable for it." He took her hand and kissed in a way that both reminded her of Thor and made her blush, before disappearing from the room.

And hour, and several glasses of ridiculously delicious wine later, Darcy climbed into bed. It's only when she nearly sits on it and electrocutes herself that she realized he'd returned her taser.


	7. Chapter 7

Darcy was getting more and more frustrated with her new job. She'd been assigned to a small team of other 'disposable' (thanks) civilian S.H.I.E.L.D. employees who'd tested slightly higher than average in reading speed three months earlier. Darcy had only taken the thing because she'd thought it might nab her a raise, but now she was stuck in a room of boring people who spoke more languages than her and she wasn't allowed to wear contacts anymore. Couldn't risk eye strain, after all.

It had been Director Fury's idea. S.H.I.E.L.D., after some weird thing happened in Russia that no one had bothered to tell Darcy about yet, had started collecting any and all reports on utilities malfunctions. Tony Stark had set up _at least_ five different sorting algorithms to sort out the ones that seemed weird. Fury, of course, refused to completely trust them. Most of the reports Darcy had read were mechanical or electrical malfunctions, so she supposed he had a point, but she was still pissed. She'd _liked_ helping Jane, even if she didn't know what was going on half the time. She was allowed to make jokes with Jane, or skive off early if she bought coffee the next morning.

Director Fury didn't really seem to appreciate her sense of humor.

It had gotten worse in the past couple of months, though, mainly because of 'Ed'. Darcy had almost looked forward to whenever the team got together ('the Avengers' plus collateral damage), since it was always pretty easy to cajole Jane into covering her tab. But now it was all ruined since Darcy refused to let herself be anything but the height of sobriety around Loki, much less a Loki who didn't look like himself.

He still visited her after every drink-together, to ask her if she was going to betray him. The unspoken implication being so that he could go ahead and kill her and Jane already. Darcy was hardly going to admit that she was planning on telling everything she'd learned (which, granted, wasn't much; he spent most of his time trading barbs with her) to his face, and somehow she just…never quite got around to it when he was actually gone.

After three months of keeping an eye on him and trying to keep him from upsetting Thor or the others more than necessary (she'd tried such tactics as vicious rumors, repeatedly kicking him under the table, and sweet-talk), Darcy had had enough.

She left the bar that night early, and it was clear from the brief look on Ed's face that he was shocked. She'd never left him alone in the group if she could help it before. But she went home and set out the usual wine (he'd kept renewing it just as long as he kept drinking it, thankfully) and sat down to wait with her taser held under the table.

It was an hour and half before he appeared in the other chair, and Darcy jerked with surprise enough that she almost tased him in the junk then and there. She took a few deep breaths and yanked her earphones out, waiting for him to start.

Loki took a sip from his wine, grinning like a cat. "You know, you missed quite the show. Although those fools seem to rather dislike me- I can't imagine _why_- I do believe that the formidable Ms. Potts is drawing away from my brother for her Stark's sake. The Agents Romanoff and Barton can't approve of the recent increases in dear Thor's excesses. Perhaps soon they will-"

"Stop. Just- just stop. I don't want to hear it." Darcy could hear her voice shaking, and she held her taser with both hands. "I don't know why you keep coming here and _bothering_ me, or why you make me have to listen to your stupid evil plans, or why you pretend to listen to anything I say. What if I did tell S.H.I.E.L.D., at this point? Yeah, you'd kill me, but they'd know exactly what you're planning! I've told you about this, trying to make you go away so I don't have to _choose_- but you're still here! So I will tell them!"

He stared at her a moment before appearing next to her chair, looming over her. Darcy half-turned in her seat to face him, and brought her taser up between them protectively. Loki merely reached up to stroke her cheek, and his expression had changed to the one that she still sometimes had nightmares about. "It amuses me, knowing that you cannot tell your masters or your friends about how they will be destroyed. You think yourself clever, and perhaps occasionally you are- but there is very little you know about what you have gotten yourself into, mortal." Darcy opened her mouth to speak, but he only moved his other hand to silence her. "Perhaps I have been too kind, letting you think yourself my equal. I think I shall have to show you, yes?" With that, he disappeared.

On Monday afternoon, she heard from Clint (she'd bumped into him on a coffee break, and they argued about music almost as much as he and Natasha argued over fighting styles) that 'Ed' had called in sick from training as the still-shiny-new Avenger. Darcy hadn't finished her coffee and instead spent the rest of the day unable to concentrate, until even her hyper-focused coworkers actually asked her what was wrong. It was a miracle, but she was too worried to celebrate the occasion.

Nothing happened that day. Or for the rest of the week. She found out from Jane, who was still halfway jokingly trying to hook Darcy and Ed up (when Darcy asked her, she responded 'Misery loves company'), that he apparently had some sort of 'stomach flu'. It was not until the next Tuesday, after Darcy had finally started to relax again, that something came up.

There had been a supposed Loki sighting in Jersey. There had been a few, even after he'd started pretending to be Ed, but they had mostly been concentrated in Eastern Europe and Scandinavia. Thor had said that it might be because any wannabe-villains in that area were more likely to believe the god of Mischief when he said who he was. Darcy wasn't sure how Loki had managed it; because S.H.I.E.L.D. hadn't been swayed by his poor showing of the past months- the Avengers were still sent out at every instance, with full backup. And Ed had gone with them every time, to fight against…himself. She couldn't figure out how that worked, unless he could make solid copies of himself. Darcy didn't think he could before, but she didn't remember much from his first campaign on Midgard. Jane had been screaming at the TV too much.

She couldn't concentrate after the team had left. Jane got to go home every time, if she wanted. S.H.I.E.L.D. couldn't risk one of its top astrophysicists having a nervous breakdown. Darcy caught herself reading the same paragraph about sewage filtering over and over again, not even her usual disgust registering, and decided to take a breather. It had been almost ten hours since the alert had been sent to every employee of S.H.I.E.L.D. in New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, Delaware, and Maryland at 5 AM. She'd thought it pretty ridiculous, but part of standard orientation was also training to protect your neighbors in the event of a national crisis so it was pretty standard ridiculosity.

The call for all-clear came as she was settling back into her desk. Darcy started to relax, and tried to make up for lost time on her reading, when the second announcement came.

Loki had been captured.


	8. Chapter 8

Darcy tried not to freak out at her desk during the next twenty minutes where Loki would be transported back to New York. They'd improved the holding facilities since the last time, but she knew it wouldn't be enough. This was what he had meant, wasn't it? Somehow this was going to end in disaster, especially for her. But nothing had happened by the time the workday was over, and as Darcy straightened up her desk she worried.

She was the last to leave of her coworkers, trying to make it look like she'd actually gotten anything done that day. After the last person had left, Darcy headed towards the cafeteria, trying to look innocent. The facility wasn't empty by any means, there were always agents working through the night on various security measures, and she wondered idly just how many security cameras were watching her. She had to check, though, had to make sure that he really was secure.

When she and Jane had originally moved to New York and began to work for S.H.I.E.L.D., they'd been shown the area where Loki was being kept. Thor had been the guide and the one who'd requested it, in some misguided hope that if he reached out to his brother with his new life, things would change. Honestly it had probably only led to her near strangulation nine months earlier, but the thought had been nice.

It took Darcy almost half an hour to find the right wing of the facility, getting turned around several times and smiling and guards all the way. When she finally got to the area that looked right she took a moment to stop and calm herself down. _It'll be fine. They've improved it, they've had to._ She peeked around the corner to where she knew the surprisingly unassuming door to be, spotting a single bored-looking armed guard she was sort of acquainted with. Another breath and she grinned nervously as she walked up to him.

"Everything good? It just makes me a bit nervous, you know, for Jane and what Thor said about last time." Darcy shrugged, trying to be nonchalant. Only one guard? Really? Then again, there wasn't exactly a massive risk of anyone wanting to break the bastard out. Despite his recent escapades as a perpetual villainous second-in-command, whenever S.H.I.E.L.D. had interrogated his captured allies they'd hated him. Darcy had to be impressed. It was really some kind of accomplishment when even other villains thought you were a prick.

"Yeah, everything's been quiet out here. I'm glad I got the easy bit, apparently he's been trying to figure out the entire life story of everyone they've got on him in there." He grinned and winked at her. "Plus I get to talk to you, definite perk."

Darcy rolled her eyes, but found herself smiling back anyways. He was cute, and their jobs had absolutely nothing to do with each other so they'd be allowed to go out if it came to that. She'd been a hermit since she'd come to New York, and even more so in the past several months. She deserved some fun, and the creepiest current part of her life was now safely locked away. They chatted a few more minutes, and as she started saying her goodbyes he asked for her number. She winked and reached into her bag for her phone.

Instead she found herself bringing out her taser and shooting the poor man in the neck. In that split-second moment between her finger pressing the trigger and the start of his convulsions, he looked almost as astounded as she felt. He crumpled into a heap, and Darcy stared at him for a moment, trying not to flip out. "I-I'm sorry- I didn't mean to do that- I-" Instead of calling for help she found herself entering the code she remembered from Thor into the keypad on the lock and going through the door before the poor guard can move again.

It was almost too easy, breaking in. All the effort had gone to keeping Loki in, not anyone else out. It had almost become a running joke across departments in the facility- they didn't need to worry about anyone trying to break him out, everyone hated him too damn much. Darcy always carried multiple cartridges for her beloved taser with her, and the number had taken a sharp increase since Loki's first visit to her apartment.

Thor, going against every security protocol that S.H.I.E.L.D. had ever drilled into anyone's head, had made two copies of his pass-card when they'd all moved to New York. He still hadn't quite trusted the idea that Jane or Darcy could be liabilities. That wasn't how it had ever worked on Asgard, and he had said that it was the only way he'd be sure they were both safe. Darcy had asked him why he'd given her one of the copies, instead of only Jane- or even Jane and Erik instead of her (this being before it had been revealed that Erik had been quite susceptible to mind control and he'd been sent off to Finland). He'd grinned and praised her for being able to take him down when they'd first met. 'You will be like Lady Sif! You must protect my Jane Foster, for she has forsaken war to understand she universe.' Darcy had never thought being called a violent idiot could be so complimentary.

Now she was using that mark of trust to betray him, and she couldn't even explain to herself why. Used in tandem with one of the guard's (there were always one or two at each new door, and Darcy was pretty sure the only reason that he hadn't been shot yet was because they were so surprised to see someone who was a known tagalong to the Avengers coming at them) cards and fingerprints and the passwords she remembered from her last visit…it was simple.

It was less than twenty minutes from her flirting with the first guard to the center of the personalized prison. S.H.I.E.L.D. couldn't exactly go for distance as a deterrent in the middle of a city, even though she was pretty sure that by now she was underground. Instead she passed through a seemingly endless series of what looked like force-field, never setting a single one off. Darcy was too ordinary- not a god, not a mutant, the only 'enhancement' she'd ever had done were her ear piercings and her birth control implant.

Alarms been going off for several minutes by the time she'd reached the final room, surprisingly empty of people. Maybe they didn't want anyone who could be influenced like Erik spending too much time with him. Well, that was pointless now. It was almost funny, and Darcy supposed that at least she could have a good laugh before she was shot in about five minutes.

Loki looked almost bored when he came into view, but his face lit into a smug smirk as he spotted her. "That was surprisingly quick, miss Lewis. I'd expected you to have more trouble justifying coming near me to yourself. Perhaps you're not as strong as I've given you credit for. How disappointing."

She'd already taken all the different keys to the various types of shackles holding him off the final set of guards, and now all she could do was struggle to hold herself still long enough for the other S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel to reach them. "What. The. _Hell._ Is going on?" Involuntarily she took a step towards him, and felt herself working herself into such a ball of frustration that she was starting to tear up despite herself.

He remained silent as she undid each shackle, only grinning at her like a lord. There were some sort of strange beams going to each lock, but they disappeared and shut off as her hand passed through them each time. Darcy supposed they were like the force fields she'd passed through on her way, only for ordinary humans to pass through. When he was freed, Loki stood and stretched his arm and wrists a moment before grabbing her by the arm and hauling her up roughly.

Darcy wrenched herself back and brought her taser up again. She'd run out of fresh cartridges, but she could still shock him plenty if she just jabbed him with it. "You can stop grinning at me like that. I have no fucking clue what you've done to me, but they're going to be busting in in about a min-" She was interrupted by the door smashing in, and Darcy was grinning and about to make a smart comment when Loki waved a hand.

Everything, and more importantly everyone, froze. Loki had stopping grinning, but his was hard to be pleased about the imperious and impatient look that now graced his features. Almost idly he took her taser and slipped it back into her purse, still lying all astray on the floor. He straightened and took a lock of her hair, playing with it, grinning as he leaned in close. "Did you know that deals with gods are binding, little mortal?"

It took a moment for his words to register, and Darcy felt almost hypnotized. "What?"

He leaned back and laughed at her. Laughed! Still wrapping her hair around his fingers, he explained: "I owe you a debt, miss Lewis. One that you have yet to release me from. As long as that debt stands, you cannot tell your masters my plans, and you must always try to free me from any prison I come to be in. Really, you should have worded yourself a bit more carefully, don't you think?" Darcy opened her mouth angrily, only too happy to tell him that he could fuck off and never bother her again, but Loki only laid a finger against her lips to silence her. "Our delightful bargain is also the only thing keeping me from ridding myself of you and sweet Jane Foster." His grin became a snarl, and his hand yanked painfully at her hair, staggering her slightly. "Don't think for a moment I would hesitate."

Darcy grabbed her hair and yanked it from his grasp, wincing as she ripped out a few strands. "Great! You can't kill me! Good job on using up the part that's useful to you, though." She gestured at the still-frozen S.H.I.E.L.D. agents in the doorway. "They're going to lock me up for the rest of my life after this!"

"Do you really think I would be so foolish as to waste such an advantage to make a point to someone as unimportant as you? Hardly." Darcy raised a questioning eyebrow out him, and he rolled his eyes at her apparent stupidity. "They won't remember that any of this ever happened. All they'll know is that a mysterious human with my brother's security card freed me and disappeared." He grinned. "Granted, you having such access to my dear brother's possessions was somewhat unanticipated. I suppose I'll just have to increase your security clearance, won't I?" He stroked her cheek a moment, almost gently, and Darcy felt her mouth twist in distaste. "Good night, Darcy Lewis."

Loki disappeared, and she couldn't believe her own eyes for a moment, until the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents started moving again and she could hear them shouting. At her. Alone, having just set free a supervillain.

Shit.


	9. Chapter 9

Loki watched amusedly from the shadows as the S.H.I.E.L.D. lackeys finished swarming in and stopped again, disoriented by his apparent disappearance. Poor Darcy Lewis was left alone in the center of his supposed cage, throwing her hands into the air and stammering for them not to shoot her. Fool girl, he'd hardly let that happen. But the more afraid she was the better for his next little scheme. The mortal started crying and blabbering as they arrested her and began a systematic sweep of the area; for a moment Loki felt utterly wretched. He pushed it away. She may have helped him a moment, but she had been doing her best of late to ruin what plans she knew of. The girl had to learn to fear him properly.

It was a shamefully simple thing to evade the humans as they searched for him, and he had to repress a rather childish urge to trip many of them. He had to look beyond mischief. Finding nothing, an agent with some sort of symbol of office on the shoulder of his combat uniform (they brought to Loki's mind the accoutrements of the guards sent to suppress the riots in places where he'd been particularly busy) called a superior on his phone.

Fifteen minutes later, an extremely vexed-looking Nick Fury strode in, dragging with him an abashed and miserable Thor. That was luck, and entertainment too. Loki had managed a quite thorough examination of his prison in the scant two hours he'd been inside it, and he'd managed to probe the force-fields against non-humans with his consciousness. Of course, that had set off the sensors specific to him, and he'd been threatened with some sort of ghastly-looking head shackle. But it had been enough. He could have got through them, of course, just a push of a thought or two to an agent to turn them off. That wouldn't be as subtle as he was hoping for these days, however, and Thor being called in so soon was the perfect solution.

"What the hell went on here? Because as far as I'm aware, one civilian shouldn't have been able to make it past the first damn door! Instead, you idiots let her get rid of the fucking threat to global security!" The man Fury was practically screaming at the agent who had called him, who appeared to be slowly shrinking into the ground. For a moment Loki thought with mild disdain that the one-eyed man might actually hit his subordinate, but he seemed to calm himself. A shame. A well-run operation wouldn't need such tactics, and the more poorly organized S.H.I.E.L.D. was, the better. Fury rounded on Thor, his voice now low and restrained. "Can I ask you why a fuckin' glorified intern who's your girlfriend's ex-sidekick has your _goddamn security pass?_" Fury was unable to keep his voice down for the last part of the question, and Loki was shocked and delighted to see his massive brother _flinch._ Perhaps he had underestimated the director of S.H.I.E.L.D., if he could make a god flinch.

Darcy, when he turned his gaze back to her, seemed to have managed to gain a handle on her fear. Loki smiled a moment, feeling almost proud. Of course, the reason why she might not look so afraid anymore might be because she instead seemed to want to smack the director. _That_ was an amusing thought.

After a few more minutes of railing at his subordinates, Fury raised a hand. "All right, I'm done with this shit. Take her to one of the interrogation rooms, set up the camera, whatever." Thor opened his mouth as if to protest, but Fury silenced him with a glare. "_You_ I don't want to hear a single damn word from. You can just get all your damn security cards from whoever else you've given them too, and just get one of the other bozos to let you in to any meetings." Fury sighed. "I expected this from Stark. Not you."

He barked out a few more orders, then left with Thor and the pair of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents in charge of Darcy in tow. Loki followed close behind, going through the depowered gates in step with his massive brother.

Fury didn't interrogate the girl immediately. He let her stew for about an hour while Loki wandered around the facility, trying to alleviate his boredom as he waited for an opportune moment. He'd stayed away from New York so far, in his grand plan, but being inside his enemy's headquarters was too much to resist for even a little mischief-making. A few innocuous notes on clandestine dater's desks to be found in the morning, loosened screw on furniture, that sort of thing. Things he hadn't amused himself with since he was a child. It was almost refreshing.

He returned to the interrogation room when the little charm he'd left alerted him to Fury's reentrance. Loki had planned to keep an eye on Darcy, to make sure she didn't overcome their bargain somehow, but after the first hour he was beginning to regret that decision. Interrogations turned out to be boring things when the person being asked the questions physically couldn't answer them beyond 'Um, I can't remember' and the asker is morally opposed to torturing anyone but Tony Stark. Though when he thought about it, Loki didn't find the thought of Darcy being tortured so amusing. She had been kind to him, even if it had been more out of fear than anything else.

Fury kept at it for almost four hours without any breaks. It was almost impressive, really, despite how incredible dull it got. Finally the man seemed to notice how exhausted Darcy looked, and paused. "Look, Lewis. I can keep doing this all goddamn night. But I'll give you a minute to yourself. See if you have an attack of memory." With one final suspicious glare, he got up and left the room. Darcy sagged in her chair with relief, shaking her head confusedly as her memory restored itself.

Loki gave the girl a few moments to compose herself before making himself visible, having been sitting on the table next to her while he waited. She shrieked, and almost fell out of her chair. "YOU! You- you asshole! What the fuck!"

He had to laugh. "Come now, miss Lewis. Would you expect any less of me?" Her only response was to stare at him tiredly, and Loki remembered that wretched feeling. "I'm here for a reason."

"Well?" She wasn't going to play along. Pity.

"Why, I'm here to set you free, of course! If you'll do me a favor..." He could only grin in response to her sardonic eyebrow. "Of course, if you'd rather sta-"

"Shut up. Fine. You win. What do you want _now?_"

"A small thing, really. You've been reading reports for strange happenings, looking for patterns." Loki paused, and after a moment Darcy nodded sullenly. "Randomize them. Undo what work you've done, if you've managed any at all. And keep on doing so."

Darcy sighed. Another bargain. Of course. He had said that they'd bite her in ass eventually. So: leave him alone with the team and rot in a cell here, or mess up her work? Especially since now she had an idea of what they were looking for, as that had been his price. Crap. Would she even be able to tell anybody, though? Probably not, since if she did they'd ask how she knew, and…arrgh. Asshole had her cornered, and he knew it. "Deal." She put out a hand for him to shake, just like last time.

Smiling, Loki took it.

* * *

><p>Fifteen minutes later, Nick Fury returned, carrying two cups of coffee and trying to look less pissed-off than he felt. When he emptied the room, he almost crushed them in his hands. Trying to quell a rising panic about things like 'ethics boards' and 'internal investigations', he called for a medic. The old janitor he'd been trying to get an explanation out of had collapsed.<p> 


	10. Chapter 10

The girl staggered slightly when they reappeared in her dingy apartment, and Loki wondered distantly whether she might be sick. Already his mind was moving on to other things, plans. What he could do with the extra time allotted by this wonderful new deal- really, it was good for the mortal girl that haggling had gone out of style on Midgard. She'd be destitute in a week. He stepped away from her, preparing to leave, but was stopped by what was probably an attempt at a vise-like grip on his wrist. Far from looking ill, the girl was flushed with rage. It very nearly suited her.

"Hey, asshole. How do I know I'm not just going to get arrested again when you leave? Except this time they bring out the fun stuff instead of just having Director Fury try to stare me into a confession?" The man could stare down Granny Weatherwax, and do it with half the eyes. Darcy repressed a shudder. Not the time, brain.

Loki sighed in irritation and gave a pointed look to the hand near his elbow, but the stubborn girl's grip only tightened. It would be amusing if she weren't being so tiresome. "It seems I've rather overestimated your mental capacities, miss Lewis. I'm very good at covering my tracks; you should know this by now."

She looked at him flatly. "Explain."

"Miss Lewis, it was not difficult to replace you with another. I took a little tour of the facility before I returned. While I appreciate Midgardians' tenacity, I must say that it is entirely foolish for a servant to continue in their work with a heart condition. He should at least have been moved off the cleaning duties. But the shock killed him when I replaced you, and it will show up as natural. Changing the security log was simpler still. Really, miss Lewis; you should have more…faith." He smiled blandly at his own little joke.

Darcy gasped and dropped his arm, drawing back from him fearfully. "You…you killed a guy? Because of me?"

Loki _had_ to roll his eyes at that. Was the girl stupid? "I have killed many people. This you should know. I believe you've even yelled at me for it before."

"Yeah, but…It hasn't, like, _involved_ me before!" She was starting to panic. Shit. Shit! This is why you don't help a fucking supervillain, Darce. Bad things happen because of it.

"Miss Lewis, if you're only going to harangue me further, I'm afraid I've more important business to attend to. Do remember our deal." He disappeared, and Darcy was left to fret.

* * *

><p>She tried not freak out the next morning at work. She'd overslept because it had taken her an extra two hours to get to sleep after that fiasco with Loki, and by the time Darcy got there the new gossip was about how Fury'd killed some crazy janitor who'd let Loki go just by looking at him. It was difficult not to let the guilt get to her too much, because then someone would definitely start asking her awkward questions. So she skipped even her usual coffee in favor of burying herself in her work.<p>

The sad thing was, it wouldn't even be that difficult to sabotage it. The computers the readers worked on had been hooked to the servers that ran the reports through Tony Stark's algorithms, so anyone who found anything too odd could check it against them or plug in the new data. They were S.H.I.E.L.D. employees, after all. They'd all had background checks going back three generations into their families, even Darcy (who'd still only gotten in because of Jane and national security. Thanks, felon granddad!). They were trusted.

Darcy had a plan, though. She'd requested the privilege to start bringing in her iPod after Loki'd told her she needed to learn, because the only thing that would calm her down enough to actually function was music, and it was standard procedure for S.H.I.E.L.D. computers to not have internet access. She'd been granted the right, and now she could use her beloved Apple tech to do some good. Darcy had restored the factory settings that morning, clearing the hard drive in one fell swoop and turning it into pretty much a fancy flash drive. The bastard thought he'd cowed her, but he'd really underestimated how annoying he was. First things first: decide what part she'd copy over today. Probably the easiest thing to do would just be to go by the log and copy from there.

It only took her a couple of hours to copy and then alter the section of data she'd chosen. Going day by day, Darcy figured it would be too long before she had her own personal master copy. She had no idea what she'd do with it, but she'd have it and that was a move against Loki. Afterwards, she threw herself into her work with more enthusiasm than she'd ever had before. If they were on to something, then maybe she could figure it out before her own sabotage got too bad.

Loki was waiting for her when she got back to her apartment feeling almost energized. It was a bit of a shock, actually, seeing him there. She'd gotten used to his looming and his insults, but now he wasn't doing anything except…reading. He looked almost normal, except for that whole leather-and-metal thing Asgardians seemed to be into (which was kinda hot, but so not the point), and like he was absorbed in the story. Darcy realized she'd been staring at him for longer than was ever normal, and rushed to close the door. The sound seemed to knock him out of his trance.

"Whatcha readin'?" Darcy strolled into the apartment and set her purse on her bedroom door handle, trying not to think about what was on her iPod or how the suddenly-imposing-again god in her kitchen would react to it. "You're here early." She didn't think he'd ever been in her apartment without her before, and the thought sent a chill down her spine. She'd have to start carrying her laptop around with her.

"I was merely checking in. I had rather expected you to have taken the day off of work after last night, miss Lewis." He was as cool and formal as usual, but he sounded almost…uncomfortable. Why'd he hang around anyways? She was hardly going to start hanging out with him. "Though your collection of books is, frankly, pathetic, I find myself rather enjoying this one."

Darcy sat down across from him and held a hand out. "Aren't I supposed to be physically incapable of not screwing things up at work? No need to check in. You didn't answer my question."

Loki glanced at her outstretched hand a moment, before carefully marking his place in the book with a scrap of cloth and pocketing it. Klepto. "The Golden Compass, I believe."

Rolling her eyes at his new acquisition, she sat back in her chair. "You _would_ like that one. Soft spot for a trickster?" she teased.

The god only looked flatly at her a moment before responding: "Quite. How went your work, miss Lewis?"

The bite in his voice was hard to miss, and Darcy sighed. Friggin' temperamental thieving god of Mischief. "What's the point in asking, dude? I gotta be a good little saboteur, so why talk about it? Bo-ring." Loki's face started to twist into a snarl, but Darcy rushed on before he could get a word out, covering her ass. "Look. I get it. You're the one in charge. No betrayals." The image of her iPod burned in her mind, and she hoped he thought her too airheaded to be worth bothering with the whole telepathy thing. "But if you're going to keep hanging around, we've got to reach a truce. I'm rude, you're an asshole? Okay?"

He nodded curtly. "Fair enough. Though 'rude' seems the wrong term. Profane nonsense is more fitting, don't you think?" Darcy thought she might have caught the ghost of a smirk, and she had to grin.

"Yeah, whatever. So you like the book?" Another nod, only slightly less curt than the last. "Then, god o' Mischief, I think maybe you should start listening to my recommendations."

Loki was back the next night, having finished the book already. Apparently Lyra Silvertongue wasn't an insult to his person, and her parentage fascinated him. Darcy knew it would. She'd heard the story from Thor, and it wasn't exactly hard to extrapolate from there. By the time he'd returned The Amber Spyglass, oddly upset, a nightly visit had become almost a regular occurrence. Another plan started forming.


	11. Chapter 11

Loki had been too distracted, these last few days. The books the mortal girl had lent him had been welcome and oddly riveting, though their quality could hardly compare to the histories and songs in Asgard. But it had been a very long time since he'd let himself take the time to read anything, consumed as he was with his planning. It had been refreshing, to let himself out of the maze of his own mind for a little while. And it made him almost foolishly hopeful. The girl Lyra who had been called after him- Darcy had been right, he could not resist a soft spot for such- had not gotten what she wanted, but Loki had given up on that long ago. She'd accomplished her goal, and that was far more important. A trickster could win. That never quite managed to happen in any of his books back…back in Asgard. _Not home, never home. Never home again you gave that up you ruined it you fool should have planned better should have been stronger more ruthless should have killed Thor when he was in chains pity will end you freezing them all would be so easy—_

No. Loki had read, and it had been a small renewal, but he had left his mischief and his chaos sit idle too long. The mortals were already losing their anxiety, hoping that the strange malfunctions had finally ended for good. There hadn't even been any riots out of the usual the day before. So he would need something to catch their attention, something terrifying.

His little trick took far more of his magic than usual, and Loki felt more tired than he had since his last defeat as he viewed the fruits of his labor. It was worth it. The mortals insisted on storing their dead for days in cool buildings, in draining their blood and dyeing them into some poor facsimile of life. Then they buried them to let the bodies rot. It was disgusting. The few places he found that still cleanly burned their dead Loki let out of this particular madness. He had to encourage sensible practices if he were to rule.

Those that didn't…well. It was funny, the ones that he left a doppelganger behind to watch the show with. The looks on their faces—priceless. The screaming certainly let Loki know that the lesson had been well taught. He'd strewn their saved dead through the towns and streets and homes, some from the cool building with the fresh ones and some from the strange cemeteries they kept. Already in some of the hotter areas the flies were gathering, thanks to a small cantrip Loki left in place over each area to speed the rot. Let them see how filthy a habit it really was.

The fresh round of riots started in the places it had been day when Loki sprung his little trick, and they remained the worst. Loki supposed seeing a corpse appear in the middle of the street before their very eyes could do that to a mortal. They were oddly advanced in several ways—transportation, he supposed because Midgardian animals made such poor mounts, and communication—but the mortals seemed wholly unable to grasp even the simplest concepts of magic.

Their advancements in communications were the glory of this trick, and Loki was very nearly amazed to see that while they were quick in removing the bodies from the public eye the news reports on the matter only made it worse. First it was assumed to be the work of some lone group, but as the realization spread that it had happened everywhere people began to panic. Loki had no idea what a 'zombie apocalypse' was, but he was eternally grateful to the people who apparently believed in them. He'd never seen people try to arm themselves or hole up in their homes so quickly.

* * *

><p>"Jane? Jane, are you okay? Can I come over?" Darcy was trying not to freak out as she called, but she could hear her own voice shaking. Damn her love of horror movies. Okay, so random dead bodies being…dead…wasn't exactly a zombie apocalypse or demonic invasion, but it was still weird enough to warrant a visit to the apartment of the dude with a magical hammer.<p>

Of course, Jane lived in a different (and much nicer; stupid S.H.I.E.L.D. payscales) building. Which meant Darcy would have to leave her apartment and venture out into dead-body-land.

Crap.

It took her almost an hour to work up the courage to actually leave the building, and the only reason Darcy managed it was because Jane called again, worrying about how long she was taking. When she actually did make it outside, Darcy could have sworn she saw a CDC van (even though she would have no idea what one would look like). Even if she was just fooling herself with paranoia, there were more people out and about than had any right to be and most of them were running and yelling their heads off. Darcy saw one guy trying to bust through the windshield of some random car that was still rolling, pushing him along the asphalt and the driver honking inside. He was pulled off by a group of people, who just started laying into him. Sirens were sounding off everywhere, mixing with the car alarms to create a cacophony that was starting to give Darcy a headache already.

She started to turn and head back into her building when she saw someone across the street climbing over the gate into another building just as crappy as hers.

Right. She splurged on a taxi, amazed that there were ones even still running. Fucking New York. Riot at the drop of a hat, but the cabs were always running.

* * *

><p>Loki had grown bored watching the chaos his trick had created. Midgardians apparently reacted to the unusual in the same way, no matter where they were: screaming, crying, and setting things on fire. Pack animals, really, the way they immediately grouped up against anything or anyone they could blame. Though Loki couldn't really think them pathetic for it; Asgardians had always done just the same. But it was all so very much the same and Loki grew tired of the show quickly.<p>

He was tired, though, and couldn't pull another trick quite yet. Perhaps a visit to the mortal girl was in order. At the very least, her anger once she realized he'd been the cause of the corpses everywhere would be amusing.

It took Loki slightly longer than normal to find her, and he was surprised to find her at his brother's woman's apartment. He supposed she'd gone there to seek solace in the panic, and Loki felt almost disappointed in her for that. Loki debated a few more moments before slipping inside the apartment to observe. If Thor couldn't sense him when he was standing right in front of the oaf, there was nothing to worry about.

* * *

><p>As soon as Darcy walked through the door of Jane's apartment, she was very nearly tackled by the older woman. "Darcy! I'm so glad you got here okay; I've been watching the news. It's mayhem out there."<p>

Darcy wrenched herself free before she could pass out from lack of air. Jane looked like something right out of a Disney movie, all frail and fragile maideny-ness, but Darcy would not have been surprised to find out she wrestled bears in her free time. Then again, she sort of did. Except, like, a straight one. "I'm fine, seriously. I got a cab. Which, props to that cabbie. Dedication." Darcy looked around the apartment, confused. "Where's Thor? It's just not the same coming in without him exploding my eardrums."

"Lucky for you, Darce. Thor's been drafted into crowd control and cleanup. The Director's convinced it's a new villain. Big. As bad as Loki was before Thor defeated him." Jane turned as she spoke; leading her from the entrance, but Darcy was rooted to the spot. She felt like hitting herself. _Duh!_ This had that flash bastard's prints were all over it. Which was a little obvious of him, but Darcy supposed he was sure he'd convinced S.H.I.E.L.D. that he was second-rate with a few escape tricks by now.

"Y-Yeah. It would have to be. They're some seriously sick freak, too." _Hope you're listening, asshole._ It was almost his nickname by now.

Jane chuckled slightly, and Darcy relaxed a bit. She'd been on edge ever since she'd turned on the news and called Jane, but if Jane was laughing things would be fine. "Aren't all supervillains? Come on, take a seat. It's been a while since I've seen you outside of work and the bar. I might start missing you if you keep being so antisocial." Jane sat down on the couch and patted a spot next to her. "Although maybe that's a good thing if I'm more worried about you getting out of the house than a new supervillain."

Darcy plopped down beside her, ever the less graceful one. "We're getting jaded, Janie. Next thing you know we'll be complaining about the weather while cars explode next to us." Darcy looked at the news on Jane's massive TV (bought at the insistence of Thor when he'd first returned and they'd moved to New York, who thought the people in the magic screens might like to stretch out some) and shuddered. "Can we watch something else? It was bad enough getting here, even though they'd cleared out the bodies. Just…so creepy thinking about it."

"Yes, of course." Jane quickly clicked off the news and turned to Darcy. "Do you want to watch something else? It's going to be a while before I let you leave, you know. Riots are bad news, and we're in New York."

Darcy grinned. "I know. Dare you to sit through _Star Wars_ prequels with me. I still think you look like Padme." If there was one way to make Jane break out the booze, it was the prequels. Darcy had long been immune to bad movies, mainly so she could force them on Jane.

Jane groaned. "Yeah, right. I think I'd die if I had to wear the get-ups she did. Please, no."

"Whatever, they're pretty. Princess Bride?"

* * *

><p>Loki rolled his eyes at the mortal women's sudden lackadaisical attitude towards the chaos. Pack animals: get more than one together and they're fine. These two would have the opposite reaction of most, with everyday being so full of monsters and heroes for them. He'd have to take it to heart; he couldn't let the rest of the mortals become so jaded if he was to keep them in line.<p>

The 'movie' they chose to watch was…interesting, but Loki failed to see the apparent fascination in it. It must have been powerful, for the mortal women each seemed to know every line. He grew bored again, and went to search the residence.

It was not an opportunity he'd had before, or thought to take advantage of, and Loki was surprised by the evident banality of his brother's new existence. Thor had always been one for lavish decorations and spreading his possessions everywhere he could, as if to take ownership of as much territory as possible. But the apartment he and the mortal scientist shared was neat and seemed almost sparse. The most interesting thing about it was the strange plastic stars on the ceiling of the bedchamber, clumsily arranged in to the constellations visible from the palace on Asgard. Thor's handiwork was evident, and Loki was surprised that his brother had ever paid such attention to the night sky. He'd always thought the great oaf too drunk, tired from battle, or in the company of a woman to really appreciate it.

Really, the only hints to Thor's presence that Loki could recognize were an abundance of Midgardian simulated fighting games and a book he remembered from Asgard. It was a book of tales that Frigga read when he and Thor were still in the nursery. Loki can't resist a sneer. Thor had ever been a sentimental man, and this was proof. Still, he couldn't resist a flip through it, and there was something strange: one of the stories was missing, cut out so carefully that it was invisible except for the gap in page numbers. Checking the contents, Loki saw that it was 'The Winter King': Thor's favorite, about the war with the frost giants and how they fell. _They should have been destroyed, Odin was weak would always be weak it was a favor. They should have hailed me as a hero and yet here I am thrown aside again but not for long Midgard will fall and soon I shall be my father's equal and then he will see…_Loki dropped the book, realizing he had set it afire as is thoughts swirled. It was ash before it hit the carpet, and he stared at it a moment before disappearing.

* * *

><p>Darcy had been gone an hour by the time Thor returned, having helped quell the last of the riots in the city. He looked exhausted, and Jane ordered him to bed with a kiss and a promise that she'd bring him a snack. Her poor warrior. He was in the bedroom for only a moment before he ran back out and grabbed her, yelling.<p>

"Jane, how do you fare? Are you all right? Did he hurt you? Has he cast any sorceries upon you?" Thor's voice was panicked, and Jane could only shake her head until he calmed some.

"Thor, honey, what are you talking about?"

"Loki has been here, my love." He said it quietly, but Jane could already feel herself falling as she heard him.

"Oh." And she'd thought she was done with nightmares.


	12. Chapter 12

Opening the wormhole to Asgard had been the most important moment of Jane's life. It had been the culmination of years of work, of begging for grants and mostly living out of a trailer so she'd be able to drive out into the desert at the drop of a hat. The fact that it had brought Thor back to her was only the icing on the cake. But it was still unstable, and it had collapsed almost as soon as he'd made it through. It was enough for S.H.I.E.L.D., though, and they'd signed her on permanently immediately after. Now the funds were steady, and she had an actual team of scientists working with her to make their own stable, Midgardian Bifrost. Even with Darcy's reassignment after the incident in Russia (the details of which were still classified), life was…perfect.

Even Thor's return wasn't as strange as it should have been. Jane had known him for a week, tops, and had kissed him only once. She hadn't let herself be too hopeful; even without him as a prize, her work was enough. But after that first dramatic reunion—Darcy, embarrassing as always, had said it was straight off the cover of a Harlequin novel— things had almost immediately become comfortable. Even if it had only been a week, Jane had pegged Thor as charming, courteous, dim, and a bit self-centered. He'd still managed to sweep her off her feet, of course, but she'd sort of thought of herself as the standard-issue damsel. Instead, he'd come back changed: quieter, kinder, and somehow older. Jane didn't ask him what had happened, and the only information he volunteered was a warning to her when his brother popped up and nearly killed Erik.

They'd both started having nightmares, then, and not a night went by where one or both of them woke up in a cold sweat. Jane knew he dreamed of fighting his brother. She dreamt of what would happen if his brother ever found her. They didn't talk about Loki, and that was fine. Thor loved his brother, and Jane couldn't help but hate him. It was relief to her when he was defeated and only came back as second-rate—Jane could live with that.

Then Loki had apparently come into her home _while she was there_, and destroyed Thor's book. Thor had managed to wean her off staying up until the wee hours of the night working, but Jane was hardly going to be able to sleep after that. Thor had stayed up with her as long as he could, but had finally succumbed. Her poor warrior; he'd been all over the state doing as much as he could. Tomorrow there'd be more, and he needed his rest.

The worst thing about New York was the light pollution. Jane had been born in Denver, and once she'd left she'd thought she'd never have to go another night without stars. In New York, she couldn't even go out on a roof—even with Thor's hazard pay and her own relatively high rank, and penthouse was far beyond any of the Avengers except maybe Tony. Stars would have been a good way to chase away the fearful thoughts that swirled in her mind.

Now all Jane had to keep the nightmares at bay was her work, and she wrapped herself up safely in the glow of her laptop. Maybe once they had their own Bifrost she could go upstate. Thor could fly; it'd be a hell of a commute.

* * *

><p>By that Friday, at the monthly meeting for drinks and morale, Jane was exhausted. She'd gotten used to sleeping more than three or four hours a night, and Thor was watching her with concern as she got her usual Long Island iced tea and led him to the normal table. They'd been late, for rather the same reasons Clint and Natasha were. Normally if that happened Darcy would give Jane a toothy grin and waggle her eyebrows at the pair of them, but now she was only staring at Ed and frowning slightly. The younger woman had made a habit of watching the newest Avenger, and Jane couldn't help but have a bit of a grin of her own internally. Darcy had been far too asocial the past few months, worrying Jane. What were they supposed to do without their resident party girl? Maybe if Darcy got with one of the team she'd perk up a bit.<p>

Ed, for his part, was trying to talk politics with Steve again. That was normal—no one could really resist trying to get Captain _America's_ opinion. Steve looked uncomfortable, and Jane couldn't blame him. She'd heard the story from him, and the poor guy hadn't asked to be a country's mouthpiece, much less return to that role after 70 years of nothing. He probably had barely half an idea of what was going on in the country still. He'd been busy since he'd woken up, instead Of being able to take the time to catch up properly.

Ed didn't notice Steve's discomfort, which was typical. Jane actually liked Ed for the most part, which was more than she could say for Tony most of the time. At least when Ed stepped all over people's toes he wasn't doing it on purpose. He hadn't known any of them during the last big battles, and that apparently was as solid a glue as anything. Still, Steve would probably like some rescuing.

"It's a shame you were out sick when that whole thing with capturing Loki again happened, Ed." Darcy spluttered at that and took a large drink. Jane shot her a quick eyeroll and continued. "Thor tells me it was weird, but he's not allowed to say anything else. Did you get to hear the story?"

"Yeah, Coulson practically tackled me as soon as I got back." He grinned. "Sorry, I can't tell you either. Heard about what happened to _you_ the other night, though. That's pretty creepy."

Darcy whirled to face Jane, and Jane had to wince. Oops. "Wait, _what_ happened the other night?"

"Well…Sorry, Darcy. Apparently Loki stopped by while you were gone." As Jane explained, Darcy only seemed to grow more and more irate, which was worrying. Darcy had always tended to be strangely blasé about all the things that had happened to them over the past two years, and everyone had grown used to her irrelevant or sarcastic comments. Seeing her actually become upset about something other than her iPod or a comic was…disconcerting.

When Jane finished explaining (and apologizing out sheer confusion), Darcy finished her drink and sighed. "Sorry, Jane. I'm just having a bad day. I think I should go home. See you guys later." Nodding her goodbyes, the younger woman stood up and left.

After a moment of awkward silence from everyone, Ed stood up and smiled blandly. "I'll just go see if she's okay, why don't I?" He followed her out.

The tone of the evening was more subdued after that. Not that they'd ever been a particularly rowdy bunch, but the past couple of months had gotten almost somber, and now it was almost tangible. As a team-building exercise, they were failing.

When they left some time later (Ed never having returned), Thor turned to her suddenly when they were halfway home, looking almost pensive. "Jane…does not this man Ed seem odd to you?"

"What? No, not really, Thor. Why?"

"Nothing."


	13. Chapter 13

Darcy stormed down the sidewalk for several minutes even after she heard someone—most likely Loki, the bastard never seemed to be able to resist a chance to gloat—follow her out of the bar. When she thought they were far enough away for no one who came outside for a minute to hear them, she whirled around and nearly hit 'Ed' in the face with her gesturing. "_**You.**_"

"Yes, me. What of it, miss Lewis? You seem upset, what _has_ happened now?" His voice was light and his grin (for once) might have been charming if she didn't want to smack it off his face so badly. It was bizarre hearing his normal accent from Ed. 'Ed' had always been weirdly casual and decidedly Midwestern, a sharp contrast to Loki's almost-British formality. Darcy was pretty sure the only time she'd ever heard Loki use her first name was as Ed, and then half the time it was 'Darce'. Like they knew each other, as friends. Their voices were different, as well—Ed's was deeper and more gravelly, like he used to smoke but his voice had mostly healed.

"Jane is off limits, do you hear me? We have a deal! You can't touch her!" Darcy realized she was yelling, and people were staring at them; a few looked like they were considering coming over and seeing what was wrong. She covered her mouth with both hands, feeling ridiculously embarrassed.

Loki rolled his eyes at her and gestured around them. "I believe you are causing a scene, miss Lewis. Perhaps you would like to harangue me somewhere more…private?" His tone on the last word was positively dirty, and Darcy gave him a flat look. He only smiled sweetly in response.

"Yeah, sure, whatever. Ass." Darcy turned to continue down the street, hoping for silence on the rest of the way back to her apartment. If she was really lucky, he'd disappear now and just meet her there. Instead, he grabbed her by the arm and then they were falling through a mass of colors and roaring sounds like wind and water and blood in her ears, and she felt like she were being stretched like gum and pressed flat at the same time. Knowing what it felt like beforehand didn't seem to make the experience any easier. Her knees gave way when they landed and she staggered, but this time Loki seemed ready for it and caught her before she could fall.

He was warmer than she'd expected, and for a moment she was still dazed enough from the trip that all she could think about was what little Thor had said about his return to Asgard—that Loki was a Frost Giant and that he had tried to kill the rest of them. The first part hadn't been completely unexpected (Darcy and Jane had both had a crash-course in the myths from Erik right after Thor left, and they'd continued reading after S.H.I.E.L.D. grabbed him up and taken him away), but the second part hadn't really made any sense. She'd pestered Thor on her own some in private after that meeting, and eventually he'd given in and told her a bit more, that Loki hadn't known and that he probably thought himself a monster. It was almost (but not enough, certainly not after he tried to take over everything) enough to pity him.

"You think of the most interesting things, miss Lewis, but I believe that story is quite my own business. Thor never could keep his mouth shut." His voice startled her out of her daze, and Darcy wrenched herself from his grasp and turned to face him again. She wished she hadn't. His face and clothing were shifting, and watching his features morph from Ed's to Loki's was a trip. The changes were surprisingly subtle, though, and she realized that the two faces weren't very different at all when you thought about it. But when she'd seen Ed for the first time and had no idea who he was…his crazy grin had been familiar, but she'd just chalked it up to déjà vu. If he hadn't appeared right after that night, she'd never have guessed. Poor Thor. His brother was hiding in plain sight, and he'd probably never know.

Back to the issue at hand: he was reading her mind? Darcy tried not to panic, tried not to think of her iPod. "Keep the fuck out of my head."

He rolled his eyes and lazed over to his normal chair at her table, the two glasses materializing in the center. "It's something I hardly make a habit of. You predilection for pink elephants is quite disturbing, I must inform you." Pink—oh. She'd worried that he might figure out about her stupid plan, and Darcy had started trying to distract herself when she thought he was looking at her for too long. Which was often. Not that she wasn't guilty herself of trying to study him, but Darcy was pretty sure that Loki was a hell of a lot better at reading people.

"Stay out. From now on." Darcy paused, trying to think of something that might get him to agree. "You think I'm amusing, don't you? Or else you just keep showing up to bore yourself, which is so not out of the range of weirdness for you. But if you go in my head again? I ignore you. You stop existing. Got it?"

He smirked. Bastard. "Miss Lewis, you'll have to excuse me if I don't believe you. Your life would be bereft without the ability to admonish me. Besides, you were ever so angry about my visit to the sweet Jane Foster just a few minutes ago."

Darcy paused, weighing her options. He couldn't hurt Jane, right? She was compelled to free him, and the release of the deal was the favor he owed her, not any harm or anything…so Jane would probably be fine. Hopefully. Maybe. It would have to be enough. She turned sharply and headed to room, closing and locking the door behind her more to make a point than anything else.

She had timed to pick a book and settle down on her bed by the time Loki appeared in her room, looking somewhat disconcerted. Darcy kept her eyes resolutely on her paperback, even if she couldn't exactly concentrate on the words. Irritating a murderous god probably wasn't the best life she decision she'd ever made, but she could _not_ have him in her head.

He watched her for several minutes beyond comfortable, and she could feel a phantom itch on her calf as she tried to stay locked in the same carefully relaxed pose. She couldn't help but jump when he finally spoke. "You're still thinking about me, mortal. That I don't even have to look into your mind to know." After a few more minutes of silence and Darcy reading the same sentence over and over again, Loki leaned down over her, putting his face an inch from hers and blocking her view of the book completely. _Don't stare, Darce._ She turned away, trying to concentrate on pretending to read. "You won't be able to keep this up forever, you know." His voice was barely above a whisper against her ear, and the contrast of the sound and the childishness of his words was almost funny. He stood, and as he straightened he plucked the book from her hands and set it alight. She would have punched him if it wasn't exactly what he was trying for. Who knew that ignoring him would get under his skin so easily?

Darcy didn't even make it to her shelf two feet away (having to squeeze around him in the tiny room) to choose a less interesting book before he broke. "Fine. You'll have your promise. I'll keep out of your head. A mortal who thinks they have the right is very nearly unbearable."

She turned towards him, smirking. "I want a proper deal of it so you won't be able to go back on your word, god of Lies. I don't ignore you forever and you stay out of my head. Deal?" She held out her hand.

Loki's face darkened at the mention of that particular nickname, but he shook her hand nevertheless. "Very well."

Darcy couldn't help but grin then and she was about to make a comment about how she was ahead in the deal-making side of things when suddenly his mouth was on hers. _What._ His lips were cool and dry against hers, and as his tongue slid into her mouth she noticed it was cooler still. He pulled her close against him, and the warmth of his body was an odd contrast to the chill of his kiss. Darcy wondered for a moment if it was because of the Frost Giant thing. She ignored that possible revelation in favor of concentrating on the other interesting new development in her life. Pulling away from him a moment, she nipped his lower lip gently before kissing him again. His fingers skimmed lightly just under the edge of her shirt, teasingly, and Darcy couldn't resist a little whimper of want against him.

Loki was gone the moment she made it.

What.

The.

_Balls._


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: **I'm not sure yet if the next chapter's going to have sex or not, but if it does the rating will go up to M. SO Y'ALL ARE AWARE.

* * *

><p>Darcy didn't see Loki again over the weekend, but on Monday there was a report that all the streets in several cities all over the world, mostly concentrated around the equator, had been covered in a foot of ice for twenty-four hours. Other places had slightly more personalized repavings: Paris had their streets and catacombs flooded with wine, while L.A. was flooded with what appeared to be liquid foundation. The news reports Sunday night had been a lot more amusing. New York itself had been inundated with what appeared to be, upon closer inspection, Starbucks Frappucino drink. Everything was still incredibly sticky, and the teenaged librarian's assistant from the one in Darcy's neighborhood had tried to start a picket outside the local franchise.<p>

Darcy, for her part, had splurged for another cab. At this rate she'd have to start pestering Loki for money. She pushed the thought away, funny as it was. Even with the bizarre flooding going on everywhere, Darcy had managed to mostly avoid thinking about the world's number-one (for the second time around, but this instance unknown) supervillain. Who kept bothering her for some stupid reason. Oh, yeah. Because she'd stupidly made a bargain that she couldn't tell anyone about him bothering her, and so it _amused_ him. Who'd gotten her arrested and then replaced her with some poor janitor with a heart problem. The supervillain who thought it was funny to spread dead bodies all over the place. Who'd creeped on her and Jane and burned Thor's book (wasn't Loki supposed to _like_ books? Why did he keep burning them?).

Who was still somehow very hot.

Who'd kissed her.

She was still trying to wrap her head around that.

Like, seriously. What the fuck? He'd made a game of irritating Darcy, and she'd rolled with it because there wasn't much else she could do and he was around all the time. They'd even been nearly friendly with each other, even if he still called her 'miss Lewis' or occasionally 'mortal'. But she knew he still thought humans were pretty much on the same level of bugs. Well, maybe a bit higher, since he'd tried to rule them. Still, it wasn't exactly difficult to notice. And then he had to go and get all handsy.

Darcy sighed and tried to ignore the thoughts for the moment. They wouldn't do her any good while he was still AWOL, and she didn't want to feel like she was pining. For one, she was still massively pissed at him about Jane, and she'd gotten distracted from that as well. At least he wouldn't be able to read her mind anymore. Amusing or not, and deal or not, Darcy was extremely sure he'd find some way to kill her painfully if he found out what she was doing.

Her own sabotage-inducing deal seemed to be…evolving, almost. Like whatever magic that held the bargains true was getting smarter. She could still load work onto her iPod and take it home, but she couldn't save _useful_ new work anymore. Darcy could type it in, figure out things, and load it onto her iPod; but she couldn't leave it like that. She just wasn't able to leave her desk at the end of the day without going in and screwing everything up.

In retaliation, Darcy had started adding more…personal observations about him to the secret folder on her laptop. Like how he mocked everything as infinitely inferior to 'even the scrawlings of a child who doesn't know what a single rune is' on Asgard, but had loved Lyra and been oddly upset by the deaths of Mrs. Coulter and Lord Asriel. Or how he completely agreed with Frollo when she'd gotten him to watch the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Darcy had edged her chair as far from him as her tiny kitchen would allow in response. She was pretty sure she'd caught him humming 'Hellfire' at least once, too.

When Darcy got home that night, the first thing she was put the glass and the goblet (he'd left one of hers transformed one night because apparently he was tired of changing them) in the center of her table. That had sort of become their sign for 'You can come in'. The idea that he had some sort of constant surveillance on her was unnerving, but not entirely unexpected.

It was less than ten minutes before he appeared in his chair, looking (if it was possible) even more smug than usual. "You called?"

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Ironic floods? _Really?_ So old-school, dude." _Do not mention it, Darce. Do not._

Loki grinned at her, taking his goblet. It filled with wine as he did so, the liquid inside nearly black. She wondered briefly was sort of fruit it was made from _this_ time, before he spoke: "I prefer to think of it as a classic. It does allow for such…variety, don't you think? Besides, it's only appropriate to fit the punishment to the transgression."

"Yeah, whatever. Ironic punishments rely way too much on stereotypes, and yours were just same-old, same-old." He smiled thinly at that, and Darcy had to resist the urge to check her throat for phantom hands. It was sometimes easy to forget that pretty much the only reason she was still alive was a single bargain—Loki could be a charmer if he wanted, just the right brand of asshole to be funny. It didn't help that he seemed to listen to her Midgardian pop culture recommendations, even if what he mostly did was make fun of them. Darcy swallowed nervously at the reminder.

"Miss Lewis, are you quite sure you want me to be more creative? Somehow I can't think that would end well for you." _He can't read your mind, Darcy, deals are binding. Deals are binding, deals are binding, deals are binding…_It was still too close for comfort.

They 'debated' for another half hour or so before they moved on to the usual chitchat about books or whatever Disney movie she'd inflicted on him most recently was. That was the pattern of his visits—Darcy was still trying to find a roundabout way to convince him that destroying/taking over the world/whatever was a bad idea, and then they'd eventually segue into something resembling normal conversation. Appeals to Loki's selfishness had worked nearly as well as appeals to his sense of mercy, and Darcy was beginning to think that the whole endeavor was pointless. So she tried not to think about it too much.

What she did think about was him kissing her. She still couldn't see the reasoning behind it, and she was pretty sure it was just to fuck with her, but it was one of those things that stuck in her mind when it didn't have an explanation. Not helpful either was the fact she hadn't gotten laid in months (it was slightly difficult to get with dudes when you're pretty sure there's a murderous psycho supervillain watching your every move and would pop in to offer sarcastic commentary. Kinda kills the mood).

Darcy lasted a week before she finally cracked.

Finally, one night when they'd already moved on to the normal portion of the evening, she busted out with: "Okay, dude. In like two days it's going to be a year since you killed me. And all of a sudden you decided kissing would be a good idea? What the fuck?"

Loki laughed. Really loudly, and for a stupidly long amount of time. Darcy didn't think she'd ever heard him laugh before, and it turned out that she didn't much like it. "Miss Lewis, I must admit that I'd quite underestimated you. I'd almost started to think you'd taken it for what it was. Although that's hardly the entertainment I'd hoped for. The question is, what did _you_ think it was?" His voice was as close to a purr as person could get without sounding ridiculous.

Darcy looked at him flatly, mouth twisted into a thoughtful frown. Well that was all the confirmation she needed. After a long moment of staring at him grinning (was his face stuck like that), she rolled her eyes. "Dude. Just tell me now: would it make things worse or better if I just fucked you and got it over with?"

She was gratified to see that Loki was taken aback. It was probably her only chance to see that expression on him, and she filed the image away. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. You ass."

It took a quick moment for him to collect himself, and he smirked. "Why, miss Lewis, I know I'm charming, but there's hardly any reason for you to be so forward. It's quite unbecom—"

Darcy was getting irritated, and she resisted the urge to pick at her nails. "Just answer the question."

Loki smiled, and she had to keep herself from backing up out of her chair. "Would you like to find out?"


	15. Chapter 15

Darcy bit her bottom lip for a moment, thinking. Well, as this point there was literally only one way she could get more fucked than she already was, and at least that way was the fun one. She considered another minute as Loki merely sipped his wine amusedly and watched her. Grinning almost as wickedly as he usually did, Darcy stood and strode slowly over to his seat, tracing one finger along the table as she did so. Loki set down his goblet as she stopped and stood in front of him, eyebrows raised expectantly.

She paused again, standing in front of him. It always took her a while to edge up to whatever metaphorical diving board life presented her with for the first time. He looked like he was about to speak, and as his mouth opened, Darcy made her decision. She sat down on his lap, swinging one leg around to straddle him, and leaned in to whisper in his ear. "So what if I did?" He froze as soon as she made contact, and then he was gone.

Darcy laughed almost as obnoxiously as he had.

It became something of a game over the next few days. He'd randomly pop in and give her a long, lingering kiss which always left her flustered and breathless. And as soon as she did something overtly sexual, he'd freeze and disappear. Every time was just as much a challenge as a joke—seeing how much they could do before the other pulled away.

Once, he caught her in the break room at S.H.I.E.L.D. getting a snack. A moment after she'd done her standard grope (it was easier if he was in normal clothes—the Asgard digs were cool, but Darcy had yet to find how he got in or out of them) Bruce Banner had walked through the door with an empty coffee mug. He'd taken one look at her, dazed and flushed, and the donut she'd dropped on the floor, and he'd turned and walked straight out without saying a word. Darcy had never been so embarrassed, even though there was no way for him to have known what was going on, and she'd had the giggles for the rest of the day. She still randomly busted out laughing because of it.

By Saturday, it had started making her as mad as it was fun. Which was probably the asshole's plan. But a person could only get swoon-worthy kissed so many times without getting laid before it just got ridiculous. So when Loki popped in that afternoon and immediately pressed his mouth to hers, Darcy pulled away almost immediately. He only smirked in that self-satisfied way of his, and raised his eyebrows in question at her.

She rolled her eyes. "Okay, seriously. We both know that I've got the worse self-control here, and that's it. You win this one, I guess. Now, please: make up your mind." _Before my pants spontaneously explode off my body, please._

Loki frowned a moment, disappointed. He'd hoped a bit more for the woman's self control, but she was mortal. Grinning saucily after a moment, he spoke: "And what if I choose to leave you in this state, since you've forced me to choose?"

"I'd live. It's the toe-curling kissing and then not doing anything to follow up on it that I have a problem with, dude."

He seemed to consider her words for a moment, still wearing that maddening grin. And then his mouth was on hers again and his hands were up her shirt and stroking her lower back in a way that made her shiver. _Oh. Okay. Awesome!_ Sex it was, then.

Darcy somehow managed to pull away again after only a few more moments, wrapping the ends of his scarf (he always had a scarf when he was dressed like a normal person, and they were always green) around her hand as she did so. She ducked around him to pull him towards her room, trying not to look at the smug grin on his face. Loki turned with her as she did so, shedding his overcoat and throwing it carelessly onto her kitchen table as he followed. Darcy could only hope the look on her face was at least half as indecent as the one on his.

"You're quite commanding for a mortal, miss Lewis. Fascinating." He was still smirking as he said it, and Darcy couldn't help but feel a little twinge of relief at the joking tone. She'd been worried he'd be offended. Darcy had thought that a high-and-mighty 'Prince of Asgard' would be more controlling.

She rolled her eyes and pushed him down onto her bed with a kiss. She could feel him still smirking against her lips, and she savored again the odd chill of him. After struggling with the knot she'd formed around her hand, Darcy broke away from him to extricate herself and reply. "Dude, it's bizarre how you can just keep talking. I'm going to have to start saying corny one-liners just to keep up." Loki only chuckled absently in response, and drew her down next him to start working on her clothes.

Getting the giggles was a slightly unfortunate habit of Darcy's whenever thing started getting hot n' heavy, and she couldn't resist them when he pulled her ratty old t-shirt over her head. He'd surprised her in the middle of her Saturday in, and bras around the apartment were massively overrated. Loki's hands were a strangely warm contrast to his mouth, and she could feel goosebumps forming on her skin at his touch. He ran a single finger down her spine, and Darcy pressed herself against him in response, biting into his shoulder and digging her nails into his sides.

Loki kissed his way down the side of her neck and across her breasts, occasionally nipping hard with his teeth to leave a trail of tiny bruises down her torso and making Darcy whimper involuntarily. He took his time once he reached her hips, placing a careful kiss on her inner thigh on each side. She'd been amusing herself by making fun of him in her head for being such a tease, thinking with the part of her brain that always somehow managed to hold itself back and worry about things like her iPod in emergencies...and then she wasn't able to think at all. He went slowly, and Darcy could swear she could still feel him grinning that damn grin of his. But he deserved every one of his names and it wasn't long before she felt herself on the precipice and about to fall-

When he stopped. Just for a moment, but it was long enough, and when she looked down at him in frustration, Loki only glanced at her with one eyebrow quirked up, as if wondering why she might be bothered by anything at all. Over and over again it happened, and every time she got closer to her climax. But he'd stop and stop and stop and stop until her legs were shaking and she could barely breathe and she was ready to scream. Darcy had lost count of how many times he'd let her crash and brought her back up again, but every lick of his tongue was almost as painful as it was pleasant. "Please-" She couldn't believe she was actually fucking _begging_, damn him. "Please?"

That was what he had been waiting for, and everything went white. It was wonderful and _hurt_ and she was pretty sure she was being incredibly obscene to the neighbors but that did _not_ matter and he was laughing when she was done.

It took a bit for Darcy to catch her breath, but she shushed him with a kiss and rolled him onto his back. "That was _mean_," she accused.

Idly wrapping a strand of her hair around his fingers, Loki rolled his eyes. "Really, did you expect anything else?"

"Nah." She grinned, slithering her way down his body. "Revenge is pretty sweet, though."

It was worth every trick she knew to hear him say 'please' just as grudgingly as she had.

* * *

><p>Darcy wasn't sure when she'd dropped off or how long she'd slept, but her phone said it was nearly noon, which was shockingly early for her on a Sunday. Loki was gone like she'd expected him to be, and she stretched happily in her bed. They'd bickered in between sessions of sexin' the night before, and she was slightly annoyed that he'd been able to think well enough to come up with the better insults.<p>

Yawning, she got up and stumbled into the main room, only to be greeted by a strange sight: electronic parts neatly arranged around a note in Loki's calligraphic handwriting. 'It seems to me, miss Lewis, that this is now rather unnecessary. After all, it could hardly compare to _me_.' It took Darcy several minutes for the meaning to worm its way into her sleep-addled brain, and by the time it did it had been too long for her to throw a fit. Instead, she started planning revenge.

It wasn't until that evening that she realized he'd also helped himself to her chocolate stash. All of it.


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note: **I promise that it's not going to be ALL PORN ALL THE TIME, it's just I noticed that most stories and even novels only ever really contain one sex scene and that's really boring. So.

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><p>There were more homeless people in the streets these days. Darcy walked to work and took the subway, and it seemed like there was always a new face creeping into the spots of the people she'd come to secretly think of as her 'regulars'. It wasn't unexpected- a town or city could only have so many only-sort-of-minor disasters before people started getting fired by the dozen, or businesses just folded. But it was hard to resist the urge to go to the nearest person surrounded by bags asleep on a bench and throw herself at their feet, begging for forgiveness. Because she was <em>fucking Loki<em>, and no matter how great that part was, it couldn't fully block out the guilt. Darcy comforted herself on her ways home in the afternoon with whatever information she'd smuggled onto her iPod that day, but it only helped a little.

She didn't really know what she was waiting for, with her growing secret 'All Things Loki' database, but it never seemed...enough. She still had no idea how she would even get it to S.H.I.E.L.D. anyways.

Loki popped in almost nightly now, even if it was only for an hour or two. Of course, that second night she'd kinda tried to kill him, so his confidence was pretty impressive.

* * *

><p>"<em>Miss Lewis, I fail to see why you're so upset." The smug bastard was chuckling as he said it, turning the high-heeled shoe she'd tried to stab him in the chest with absently in his hands. It was one half of only two pairs Darcy owned, and she'd only bought them because they were on sale and they were <em>silver_. It was hard to resist a pair of shoes you could see your face (even if it was all blurry) in. As she fumed at him, the other shoe raised ready to throw at his head, she was surprised to see the one in his hands develop swirls of gold, the new color slowly replacing the silver. Lowering her improvised weapon, Darcy noted that it, too, was turning from silver to gold._

"_Really. _Really_. Dude! You murdered my vibrator! Not cool!" She was still yelling, but there was less venom in it. Mainly because he'd made both her shoes disappear and he was walking towards her, smirking slightly. He stopped just short of her, and Darcy tried not to swallow reflexively._

"_And I believe I told you that it was no longer necessary." Loki touched her cheek lightly, his expression only growing more self-satisfied at her involuntary shiver. "After all, our last encounter was...pleasing, was it not?"_

_Darcy grimaced at the smarm, sticking her tongue out at him for a second before pressing up against him. She tapped him lightly on the chest before speaking. "Yeah, shut up. But that's totally not the only reason I'm pissed at you, dude." She paused, and he quirked an eyebrow at her in question. "Stealing all my chocolate? Too far."_

_He rolled his eyes and waved a hand. "There. Your confectionery supply is restored, and no doubt the quality of several of your selections has improved. Now..." Loki smiled in an almost predatory way. "I did visit you again so soon for a reason..."_

* * *

><p>He was charming and gorgeous and funny, but he was also terrifying and cruel and pompous and the reason for all the new faces roasting on the pavement this August. It was hard to remember that when he was sitting in her little kitchenette with her, watching children's movies or getting hammered and arguing about whatever book she'd forced on him the day before. Loki refused to read any of her comic books (although he'd had a few suggestions when she'd told him about the origins of Wonder Woman), and he was weirdly like Jane in his flat refusal. The thought of telling either of them that they were similar in any way was horrifying enough that it had kept Darcy up at night at least twice.<p>

By the end of October, only two important-ish things had managed to happen, though, and Darcy was feeling rather disappointed: all her 'date clothes' had been turned to varying shades of green and her jewelry had all gone gold, and S.H.I.E.L.D. had started sending a car to pick her and several others employees in her building up in the mornings_._

The car wasn't really all that unexpected. New York was pretty restless at the best of times, and monthly-or-better blackouts just meant the riots got worse and worse every time they happened. Darcy had gotten weirdly used to seeing storefronts boarded over with plywood painted with 'WE'RE OPEN! WE SWEAR!' or something like it. She supposed that getting half your merch looted or just smashed meant that you were just that much more desperate to turn a profit.

She'd also started seeing police in riot gear, just doing their 'beat' or whatever. When she could see their faces, they always looked angry or tired or just confused. More than a few of her minority coworkers had reported getting harassed, and Director Fury had made a point of visiting every station there'd been a problem with. One idiot cop had apparently tried to arrest him as soon as he'd walked into one of the stations. That cop was now unemployed, and Darcy couldn't help but feel a little pleased by that. Working for a pseudo-para-whatever-military branch of the government or not, she'd been a Poli-Sci major raised by a mother who may not have been aware that the seventies had ever ended.

So the car wasn't surprising. But Darcy had no idea why all her girly clothes that she never even wore- except occasionally when she was looking to get laid- had turned to varying shades of green. Even her requisite little black dress had taken on a barely-there greenish tint. She wasn't exactly sure how Loki even knew she owned anything like that, unless he was going through her closet while she was asleep. Which she wouldn't put past him, since 'invasion of privacy' seemed to be one of the many social taboos he gleefully danced across the line of. But going through her wardrobe was just kinda weird.

Being Darcy, and more kind of amused by it than anything else, she had to ask him. So after the normal chitchat of 'Don't-you-think-you-should-stop-murdering-ALL-THE-THINGS?-No-not-really-amuse-me-mortal', she drank down a far too big mouthful of the milky-pale liquor he'd magicked up this time for courage and did. "Dude, what's with the matching digs? For me, I mean? Matching couple are tacky as shit." Darcy paused a moment, frowning. That could probably be taken the wrong way. "Not that I'm saying we're a couple. Like, at all. That would just be bizarre."

Loki didn't speak immediately, instead taking the the opportunity to rake his eyes lazily up and down her body, wearing his ever-present and always-annoying smirk. She felt herself shifting involuntarily under the scrutiny, and forced her self to be still. As she did, Loki finally spoke, smiling like he was doing something clever. "I'm afraid that you are quite correct on both counts, miss Lewis. I do apologize for the unwanted implications."

Darcy frowned, her eyebrows screwed up in thought. "Uh. Thanks, I guess? But you didn't say anything about my clothes. I want them back to normal." Loki's expression didn't change in the slightest, and she sighed heavily. Ass. "Please?"

He grinned widely and sipped from his goblet, swirling the liquid inside gently after. "Miss Lewis, I assure you that if you cared to examine your...finery...that all will be as it should be."

She pursed her lips. He was an irritating ass, and she'd never once been able to get a straight answer out of him with out forcing him (as in: annoying him back until he gave in, or begging). But Darcy had to admit that his stupid games kept her on her toes, and she beamed brightly at him as she stood and bowed with flourish. Her apparently sudden changes in mood always managed to unbalance him just a bit, and she was pretty sure that she'd always need all the help she could get. "You know what? I think I will."

As she'd half-expected, none of her clothes had changed back, and Darcy was sure that another skirt had been dyed, to boot. It still pissed her off, and she glared at him as she squeezed past his ridiculous pseudo-throne to tell him as much. She flapped a hand haphazardly at her half-open bedroom door. "Dude. What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Loki set his wine down and reached up to snake an am around her hips, pulling her closer to him. "As I said, both your point were true. We are not a couple, and while a matching couple is distasteful, wouldn't you agree that a servant should be properly outfitted in her lord's colors?"

The words took a moment for her to process, as he'd brought his other arm up to lace his fingers together over her lower back, and one of his thumbs was now idly tracing circles over her spine. "What?" Darcy glared, pushing him back. Of course, now she was pretty much locked in place, but it made her feel better. "Hell no! I am _not_ your servant! Or handmaiden, or whatever you'd call me. Nuh-uh. Not happening." She paused again, unable to resist a small lopsided smile. "Besides, you'd have to pay me big time, dude."

Loki raised his eyebrows at her push and leaned back in his seat, pulling her easily into his lap and pressing her against him. He pressed his lips to her neck as he answered, and she could feel him smiling, tickling her skin. "Indentured, shall we say? After all, we have enough contracts drawn between us. Besides, you should be pleased. A mortal handmaiden to a prince of Asgard? Such an honor has never been bestowed."

"Honor, my ass." Darcy repressed a giggle as she felt his hands fall lower at her words, wiggling a bit to mess with him. She pitched her voice haughtily, looking down her nose at him. "I'm a free agent. Only beholden to the people that sign my paychecks. Or just give me stuff, that works too." At that Loki opened his mouth, no doubt to mention the wine, and Darcy stopped him with a finger pressed to his lips. "That totally doesn't count. We both know that's all for you and I just get the leftovers. Awesome as hell leftovers, but my point still stands."

He pulled her hand away, lacing his fingers through hers. "Mortals like you have begged for centuries for the leftovers of the gods. You should be more grateful, miss Lewis." Loki quirked a slight, very amused smile before continuing. "But then you would not be half so entertaining."

"You think that's a compliment, don't you." He only looked at her flatly in response, and Darcy stuck out her tongue at him. "I'm still mad at you. You're so not getting out of this one."

"Oh? And what, exactly, do you think you're going to do?"

Darcy sat back on her heels, untangling her hand from his and brushing the other away to fish into her back pocket. She brought out a loop of embroidery thread and waved it under his nose teasingly, grinning. "This. I've been meaning to bring it up anyways, but I was at the store this morning 'cause _someone_ decided one of my pairs of pants didn't need a button and I saw this. And I think I remember you mentioning that it's hard for you to use you're magic when you're restrained, right?" Her voice on the last word was sing-song, and he suddenly looked like he'd realized he'd walked into a trap.

Loki shifted uncomfortably beneath her, and plucked the loop of thread from her hand to examine it. "Miss Lewis, you realize this is green, do you not?"

She rolled her eyes. "Well, _duh._ It's for you, not me. Totally appropriate." Darcy snatched the thread back from him. "So. What do you think?"

He shifted again, letting his hand fall to her hip, and eyed the thread pensively. "Though it might be a bit difficult for one of _your_ faculties to break a thread of that breadth, I could snap it in a second. It hardly seems a fitting choice."

Grinning, Darcy leaned down to nuzzle his neck lightly. "Well yeah, but that's the point, you know?" Looking back up, Loki was looking off to the side, frowning, and she sighed. "Self-control, you ass. Because if there's one thing you need to learn, it's that." He opened his mouth to protest, and Darcy took the opportunity to kiss him near-pornographically. She was pleased to note him shifting uncomfortably again, but in a very different way.

And then his hands were sliding around the waistband of her jeans and Darcy felt the bizarre sensation of having her pants and underwear pulled _through_ her, and she had to break the kiss to make a joke because that was just unfair. "Since when were you Shadowcat's illegitimate child?" Loki seemed to freeze for a moment, and Darcy had a heart-stopping moment when she remembered what Thor had said about certain personal revelations before Loki dropped from Asgard. Probably bastard kid jokes were a thing she should avoid in the future. But he only pulled her forward for another kiss by her hair, biting her bottom lip hard before plunging his tongue into her mouth.

She jerked back after a minute, yanking his hands from her hair and trying to catch her breath. "Point noted! Sorry!" Still holding his hands, Darcy pressed her lips to his gently. "Wasn't thinking, won't happen again." Loki looked calmer after a moment of consideration, and she pushed his hands insistently down to the armrests of his seat. "Now. Please? I just think it might be interesting."

Loki laughed harshly at her persistent request, and he was smiled crookedly. "Is that the boon you would ask of me, mortal? It seems a poor bargain."

Darcy rolled her eyes, grimacing. The air seemed to grow slightly heavier at his words, pressing in on her skin like it was too tight for her body, but the sensation disappeared when she shook her head. "Dude, seriously? Not the time." She smirked. "Maybe I'll just go to bed, if you're just going to be an asshole about everything."

He sighed in annoyance as she moved to get up off him, and pulled a hand free to touch her cheek. "Very well, mortal. Do what you wish."

She couldn't repress the urge to do a fist-pump, and it was clear from Loki's expression that he was already regretting his assent. _Serious-face, Darce_. She kissed him again lightly to reassure him, and pulled one end of the thread from the loop. "I don't suppose you'd mind magicking up something sharp for me would you?"

He grinned and waved a hand idly, a small blade appearing as he did. "You worry me, mortal."

"Yeah, whatever. I'm not the supervillain here." The thought brought on another pang of guilt, and Darcy forced herself to concentrate on her task. It was just a single loop of thread tied neatly with a bow (because really, who could resist making the secretly-biggest-threat-to-the-world look slightly ridiculous?), and not even that tight around his wrist. It was a reminder, though, and Loki settled back into his pseudo-throne when his second wrist was tied, eyebrows raised expectantly.

Darcy paused, chewing absentmindedly on her bottom lip, thinking and looking him over. She took a deep breath to steady herself, trying not to feel too ridiculous. Loki, although he'd started coming to her exclusively in mortal clothes (because she'd given up figuring out how to get him out of any of his Asgardian things, and said as much), never wore anything but varying levels of suits. Tonight he was only wearing a plain dress shirt and slacks, and she was grateful for anything that made getting him undressed easier.

She pulled his tucked-in shirt free and slid her hands underneath, feeling each of each of his ribs underneath her fingers as she did. Darcy didn't think she'd ever seen him eat, and it struck her as another weird similarity to Jane. The thought annoyed her, because she'd practically had to force-feed the astrophysicist back in New Mexico, and she dug her nails into his skin and dragged them down over each bump. Loki hissed out a breath in pain, and she was surprised to feel welts forming in the path of her nails. They healed almost instantly as she brushed her fingers back over the inflamed skin, but that had never happened before.

"Guess it's not just magic for you, huh? Or was there some sort of shielding thing you had set up?" He glared at her and tapped his fingers on the edge of one armrest, stopping only when she bent to him to kiss his neck. There was a spot just behind his earlobe that always made him shudder when she licked it, and she grinned when he did now as she finished unbuttoning his shirt and pushed it down off his shoulders.

He shuddered again when she swooped a thumb down the inside of the waistband of his trousers, biting down hard where his shoulder met his neck as she undid his belt and fly. He was hard in her hand, and she kissed the quickly-fading bruise a she stroked him for a moment. Loki tended to be stoic in bed, Darcy had discovered, up to a certain point when his self-control just snapped, and she could tell by the hitches in his breathing that he was quickly reaching the tipping point. Awesome.

She pulled back, grinning, to look at him. He looked disconcerted and slightly dazed, like he'd not been expecting much. Ass. But he remained unusually quiet as she climbed of the chair to pulls his pants and underwear down his legs. Darcy stood there a moment with her hands on her hips, taking in the view. Half-dressed, it turned out, was just as good as undressed when the clothing was nice. She looked around for wherever he'd tossed her pants, flipping through her wallet quickly to retrieve the packet once she'd found them. Loki raised his eyebrows, smirking, and opened his mouth to comment. He fell silent again as she pulled off her Wonder Woman t-shirt and bra, leaning forward to kiss him thoroughly before retaking her seat.

"I figured your normal anti-baby mumbo-jumbo wouldn't work, right?"

He rolled his eyes. "Correct, miss Lewis, although I would again like to point out that biologica-"

Darcy covered his mouth with her hand. "Shut up. You know I don't believe you." She kissed him again roughly, digging her fingernails into the nape of his neck. He shivered slightly as she ran her other hand down his torso again, scratching curls into his skin with her her nails and brushing her fingers teasingly over the head of his cock. It twitched slightly at her touch, and Darcy was pleased to notice that he couldn't easily raise his hips from the chair.

She dipped two fingers into herself, spreading the moisture around and gasping slightly into his mouth, before pulling back and stroking her wet fingers of his length. Loki groaned slightly, and she grinned, ripping open the condom and rolling it down him.

There was tension in his arms and shoulders, and his hands were clamped to the armrests of the chair, his knuckles gone white. Darcy grinned as she slid him slowly inside her, unable to resist a small whimper against his neck at the sensation. He groaned again, and she pulled back to look him in the eye, wiggling a bit as she did. "By the way, if you break the thread I will totally stop."

He glared at her, struggling slightly to form words as she rolled her hips over him, and Darcy had to laugh at the combination of the glazed look in his eyes and the expression. Not wanting to deal with his commentary, she bit his lip and kissed his neck, pressing her hands down over his wrists for added emphasis.

Darcy moved in long, slow strokes and clenching rhythmically around around him as he tried increasingly desperately to thrust up into her. But even at her agonizingly slow pace, it wasn't long before she was moaning with him and letting go of his wrists to scratch into his sides. Reaching down one hand to rub her clit, she moved faster over him, biting into that one spot on his neck, and it wasn't long before she felt that familiar burning warmth rolling through her. Loki, too, was making that whimpery-gaspy-noise that heralded his orgasm, and she giggled as he finished.

"Have fun?" She cupped his cheek in her hand and kissed him lightly, still feeling giggly, and snatched the knife she'd set on the table to cut him free. She climbed off him and pulled of the condom neatly with her free hand in one movement, setting the knife back down once she was on her feet and grabbing her clothes to head to the bathroom.

"Surprisingly so, miss Lewis, though I believe I must recompense you for the indignities," he called after her, and when Darcy came out of the bathroom he didn't seem to have moved an inch, but he was dressed and looking fresh as a daisy.

She wandered back over to him and plopped down in his lap, grinning. "Yeah, I bet. But first, a movie. I'm only mortal, after all."

"Ah, yes, I forget about your pathetically delicate physiology." His voice was teasing, and Darcy poked him in the forehead.

"Shut up. Ass."


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note: **Someone had to address the fact that our romantic hero had relations with a horse eventually. And someone at Google is very confused as to why I searched 'horse gestational period' right now. The story is half flashback/half what he's telling Darcy, and I wanted to give it a sort of archaic/fairytal diction.

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><p>Loki had never expected for such a colossal mistake of his to turn out quite so charmingly. True, the mortal woman had extracted a promise of safety for his brother's woman from him, but that merely meant that Loki's revenge could be so much more...<em>extensive<em>. That was going wonderfully, and in the meantime he'd gained an unexpected amusement. The mortal woman was a lovely creature, even if her features seemed slightly to large for her face. Yet somehow the effect was lush and expressive, and Loki delighted in manipulating those expressions. In Asgard he had been irritated by the Aesir's tendency to wear their hearts on their sleeves (often because they lacked the impulse control of sobriety), but sometimes he nearly missed it. He was the Prince of Lies and Subterfuge and half a hundred other things, but even one as powerful as Loki tired of moving in the shadows occasionally. The mortal woman was safe, made so by magics stronger than even Loki could comprehend, ones writ by the roots and branches and leaves of Yggdrasil itself, and he could say to her whatever he liked.

In some ways better still, the creature was terrified of him but still was not cowed. Loki could not read her mind, but her fear was plain in the way she always took a moment before smacking his arm in anger or harangued him about some foolish mortal media, or the quietness with which she requested things from him. The mortal woman's fear was nearly as useful to him as her promise, because it meant he did not have to remind her of what he was. It was a pleasant thing to laugh and argue with the strange mortal woman, and Loki could not bring himself to wish for a reason to remind her of their differences. This way he could merely forget about his scheming and planning and the way the other mortals' screams rang in his ears when he was done with his mayhem.

She seemed determined to test him, however.

* * *

><p>"So, what about the horse thing?" The mortal woman had taken to asking Loki for confirmation of various myths at least once a week, and it always ended on <em>that one<em>. He was starting to worry that Midgardians were obsessed. The metal 'doctor' who could not heal had asked him about the same thing upon their first meeting. It had not gone well from there. Loki had inferred that Thor received much the same treatment from Midgard in general, although being dressed as a maid was hardly an embarrassment. Even if Thor had worn it terribly.

Loki glared at the woman across the table, glad he'd not been able to coax her into his lap for once. She was a pleasant armful, but it was all Loki could do at the moment not to tie her eyelashes together. "Miss Lewis. As I have said before: we will not be discussing that particular myth. It is slanderous."

She snorted, graceful as ever. "Yeah, whatever. Thor didn't know the weird parts, but he said your dad totally has an eight-legged horse." Loki waved his hand slightly, tying several of her lashes on the outside of her left eye together. The woman's hands shot up, on to cover her afflicted eye, the other in surrender. "Ow! Fuck! Okay! Moving on, I swear!" Her visible eye was watering slightly, and she dropped her hands in defeat. It looked rather like she was trying to glower and wink at him at the same time.

He smiled blandly, undoing his little trick. "I shall try to hold you too that." Silence fell for a blessed minute.

Of course, it never lasted in the mortal woman's presence. "So I've been meaning to ask for...wow, almost a year now? I mean, obviously it's been bothering me since you first started fucking things up for everyone and all, but we've only really talked fo-"

"Make your point, mortal."

"What's with the hair?"

Loki stared at her a few moments before he could answer. "Excuse me?"

"What's with the-" She picked up a few tendrils of her own hair, holding them in swoops curving away from her head. "-thing? You look like a greasy cactus."

He resisted the urge to shelter his head from her view in defense. "A _what?_"

"A cactus. Spiky plants in deserts. Uh." She thought for a moment. "Some deserts. I'm surprised you didn't land on one. One time a needle went _through_ my toe. But that's what your head looks like. But with way too much hair product." The mortal woman leaned forward, squinting at him, and Loki leaned away in response before he caught himself. "At least I _hope_ it's some kind of product. I _know_ you bathe."

"_Is there a point to insulting me, miss Lewis?_"

She had the gall to roll her eyes at him. "Duh. You need a haircut, dude."

Loki watched her in disbelief. "That was your point. That I merely need to cut my hair." He blinked twice, slowly, still not fully registering the sheer banality of it. "...why did you not just _say?_"

The creature merely shrugged noncommittally. "No reason. So!" She clapped her hands suddenly, making him jump slightly. "Can I cut your hair?" The mortal woman grinned imploringly. "Pleeease? I totally used to cut my hair in college, so I won't fuck it up. Anymore than it already is, I mean. Promise."

Feeling deflated, Loki sighed heavily and nodded. Immediately she threw her hands in the air and laughed in a somewhat unsettling manner. "Miss Lewis-"

She help up a hand. "Ssst! Trust me, I'm just getting rid of the weirdness. No, like, mohawks or anything. Although..." She paused thoughtfully, for too long a moment. Loki did not like the sound of whatever sort of hairstyle that was, if the mortal woman had thought of it. "Nah, it'd be hilarious, but you'd kill me." That he would. "Right! Sit tight, and I'll go find my scissors."

Loki drained his goblet twice in the time it took for her to return, to a chorus of bangs, small crashes, and a litany of obscenities. Well.

The woman was quieter when she returned, not speaking beyond a murmured request for him to make his hair clean and slightly damp.

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><p>"There you go. See? Told you it wouldn't be crazy." Darcy hadn't really done much, mainly because it was hard to imagine him without his slicked-back villain hair, but at least the spikes were gone and it was off his neck. She held up a mirror for him. "Y'know, I think your hair might have been just a bit longer than Thor's."<p>

Loki frowned and took the mirror from her, preening slightly as he examined himself. It was hard not to giggle at him being so vain, but it was weird too. He looked...younger, somehow. More raw. She hadn't realized just how much it aged him, and Darcy could sort of imagine this Loki as the one Thor insisted on calling his 'little brother'. He looked like someone's baby brother, instead of a mass-murderer. His reflection looked tired as she walked behind him again to get the towel she'd put on his shoulders to catch his hair and put up her scissors, and Darcy wondered for the millionth time what was going through his head.

Reminding herself that she didn't care, she walked away, arms full. When she returned, he'd set down the mirror and looked as composed as ever.

"Dare you to let it dry without putting any extra goop in it." Darcy sat in her chair and grinned, leaning towards him and raising one eyebrow. "So, what _about_ the horse thing?"

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><p>Loki glared at her pointedly, but he was tired of being asked. "If I tell you, will you never speak of it again, miss Lewis?"<p>

She stuck out her tongue and raised her right hand, her thumb and pinkie touching at the center of her palm and her other three fingers raised. "Scout's honor, dude."

His brow furrowed in confusion. "What? Who are you scouting for? Against me? You're doing a poor job of it."

The woman stared at him a moment before sighing and rolling her eyes exaggeratedly. "Girl Scouts. It's a Midgardian thing, I'll explain it to you sometime. But it means I promise."

Loki frowned and shook his head slightly at her. "Very well. But this is the last we shall speak of it."

* * *

><p><em>Asgard had been on the edge of another war. Angrboda was dead, the monsters she bore banished or bound, and Loki was tired. But the death of one of the few Jotnar who were welcome in Asgard- under mysterious circumstances, no less- was enough of a spark, and Asgard would be on the defense this time. Walls were needed.<em>

_Odin sent out a call across those of the Nine Realms that were strong enough in magic and friendly to Asgard, and there were many builders who responded. Only one, a hunched and hooded figure that was still at least as tall as any Aesir, had plans that were deemed strong and secure enough by the Gatekeeper, who had the knowing of such things. _

_When his price was asked, the man demanded the usage of the sun and the moon for the forging of the wall, and fair golden Freyja's hand in marriage. Loki remembered she had laughed, ringing like a bell through the hall, and proclaimed that if the man could finish it by the next summer then he would have her. _

_Odin, as ever, was less cheerful. "Do not insult our guest, Lady Freyja. You are betrothed, and I would not have a slighted man make our defenses."_

_Ord laughed as well, then. He and Freyja laughed a lot, and the sound grated on Loki's ears. "If our fine builder manages such a feat, Allfather, then they shall have my blessing gladly given!" He kissed Freyja's cheek, and she smiled shyly._

_Before Odin could speak again, the hooded man raised a hand and nodded, sending a chill down Loki's spine. Odin sighed like the wind, and Loki had wondered then if the Allfather knew something of what was coming. Looking back, it seemed the sort of thing he would allow._

_Two seasons passed, and half of the last. Freyja was growing pale and frightened, and Ord began to speak of magic and enchanments._

"_It is the horse, I tell you! It is not natural! No animal can move so quickly, or run about on nothing!" The animals of Asgard were remarkable, true, but Ord had had a point, and Odin called the court for judgement._

"_Freyja. You offered your hand freely, with consent of he who holds your troth. Why should you be freed from this contract?" Odin's face was impassive, and Loki could not tell his thoughts._

_Freyja shrieked and began to weep, only regaining some of her composure after several minutes. Ord stood grim-faced and silent next to his sweetheart, waiting for her to speak. "Allfather, I beg of you. It was a jest! It was...it was impossible! Please! There is no creature I can think of with the strength to do this!" A giant might, but it was no use mentioning. All the giants had allied with their brothers in Jotunheim. Loki pressed his lips together and looked away, unable to bear the spectacle before him._

"_I will not help you, Lady Freyja. This is wrought only by your folly, and as king I cannot risk the harm to Asgard. I am sorry for the both of you."_

_The court began to leave, but Freyja and Ord remained lonely in the center of the hall. Her cries echoed in the empty chamber, and Angrboda was screaming again in Loki's head. Odin was still seated on his great throne, Loki's mother by his side._

"_I will do it." The voice was quiet and raspy, barely audible over the lover's lamentations. Loki was surprised to find it was his own, and swallowed to moisten his throat before speaking on. "I will find if there is a way, Odin-king. Well-known are my tricks and slyness; it will not be so great a task."_

_It was a long moment before anyone responded, Freyja's wails growing quieter and giving way to small hiccups as she waited for Odin's answer._

_When he nodded, stern and weary, she ran to Loki and took his hands in hers and covered them in kisses. Her voice was a ragged whisper."Thank you, thank you, thank you...I will repay you."_

Like you paid our builder?_The words were on the tip of Loki's tongue, but he swallowed them when he felt Ord's hand upon his shoulder. It was the first time anyone outside the royal family had been able to bring themselves within a foot of him since the monsters' birth, and even he could not destroy it._

_Many days and nights Loki spied on the builder, watching invisibly as the wall grew, shimmering across the cosmos. He watched and waited, and it was not until Freyja's hand was due three days hence that he saw anything he could use. It was a small thing, and he barely saw it, but it was enough._

_A flash of blue. A flash of blue as the builder reached out his hand to lay one of the last bricks, before it was hastily covered with his robe, and Loki was away and speeding across the stars home._

_All that night, he and mighty Thor planned and plotted, and it was near dawn before they made their decision._

_Even whispering, Thor's voice seemed to boom. "Brother, you must distract the horse! I am not full of trickery like you, and it will hear my coming and warn it's master!" For he and Thor were yet young then, and even Mjolnir could not save an inexperienced warrior from the wrath of a Jotun. Surprise was needed._

_Shapeshifting had always been the easiest of Loki's magics, simple as taking a mere step. Now sometimes he would look at his hands, pale when blood would have made them blue as the night sky in summer, and wondered at the irony of him never realizing the truth. But a mare had been so easy then._

_Loki had always been quick and sure-footed, and triumph coursed through him as he heard Thor's battle-cry and the wet crunch of Mjolnir on bone growing faint in the distance. But it took him a moment of peace to change forms, and the builder's horse was quick after him, and Loki had to run._

_He was not quite quick enough. It took days, but the builder's horse was creature enchanted, and Loki grew weary. When he was himself again, he slew the vile beast, but it was over a year before he could return home again._

_The monstrous foal was in tow, and he told a grand tale of harrying the builder's horse across the Nine Realms until a great spider ate it to the court. He said the spider had laid an egg, and the eight-legged foal had hatched from it. He had brought the wretched thing as proof, and it broke away from Loki's hand then, to run a lap around the great hall._

_The foal's speed was awe-inspiring, and Thor declared it before the court the greatest horse that had ever lived. One fit for a king only. Loki shrugged helplessly, and held the broken reins out to the Allfather. He could not slay it now, people would ask why. As long as it was well away from him. Thor hailed the monstrosity 'Sleipnir' for the way it had slipped it's bindings, and that was that._

_Freyja thanked him later, after his homecoming feast, pressing the necklace she'd wed four dwarfs for into his hands and promising him nearly any favor he wished._

* * *

><p>The mortal woman looked horrified, but she stood and came to place a hand on his shoulder. "That was...awful. I'm sorry."<p>

Loki smirked lazily and shrugged, pushing out the memories. "Comes with the territory, miss Lewis. I've read some of your other myths; it seems all tricksters have similar tales."


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Note:** Sorry that took so long! But look! WE FINALLY HAVE THE REST OF THE TEAM!

* * *

><p>"I'm disappointed in you, Lewis." Tony Stark leaned against the breakroom's fridge, swigging from a mug of probably-not-just-coffee in his hand.<p>

"Buh?" Darcy glared blearily at his drink from her position by the coffeepot, waiting for it to finish brewing the new pot. "You totally stole the last of the coffee, didn't you. Even though there are like three breakrooms that I can think of that are closer to the labs than this one."

Tony winked and took a long drink from his mug, smacking his lips together exaggeratedly. "Ahhh. Yep."

Darcy groaned and leaned her head down on the top of the coffee maker miserably. "I hate you, Stark. I hate you so much. This is why people keep trying to murder _you_ specifically, you know, right?"

"Keeps me on my toes, Lewis. You know, my hair may actually _be_ insured for ten thousand. I'm not actually sure, Pepper keeps track of that kind of thing."

She stared, waiting for the words to actually make sense in her head. Finally, just when he was starting to look mildly concerned and very bored, Darcy spoke: "What the fuck are you _talking_ about?"

He rolled his eyes. "Remind me to never talk to you before noon again."

"Fuck you."

"Sorry, sweetheart, Pepper'd kill me, and your rack's not good enough to risk her wrath."

Darcy stuck out her tongue, flipping him off as well when he just did his calming-the-Coulson grin. The coffeemaker beeped, letting her know it was done, and she made herself a cereal-bowl of coffee that had equals parts sugar and half-n-half. Tony looked disgusted as she gulped her concoction down, wrinkling her nose back at him as she responded. "Just answer the question, asshole."

"Heard from Barton you were asking around about Ed and recording it. This is another movie thing, right? Like with Thor last year. I'm starting to get worried, Lewis, since I'm the only real celebrity in this dump."

"You _own_ this dump, Stark. And no, it's not another Mean Girls thing. That movie is _old._ Get with times, dude. You're losing your touch." Darcy drank down more coffee, already feeling the caffeine kick in. Or the placebo effect. Whatever, she wasn't picky.

"Hey, you're the one that started it. So tell me, then."

She sighed. "I just wanted people's opinions. Since he's kind of late to the team and stuff. Is this really why you came all the way over here?"

Tony shrugged, and gestured to the door. "I'm insulted you haven't asked me yet. Lead the way. And how else am I supposed to see my favorite intern?"

"I am _not_ an intern anymore, dammit!"

* * *

><p><em>Five days earlier...<em>

It was probably best if Darcy got the hardest part over with first. She tried to keep that in mind as she psyched herself up at the door of Black Widow's favorite training room (at least according to schedule logs). Still, it took her a good ten minutes to actually reach out to open the door.

At which point it opened. And smacked her in the face. Of course.

"My apologies, agent. Were you looking for someone?" Agent Romanoff's voice was as flat as her standard expression, and Darcy had to keep from flinching when the older woman looked her up and down in assessment. If anyone ever figured out how to make an expression kill, it would be the Black Widow.

"I—uh—Yes! Um. You, actually. Ma'am." Darcy's voice came out as a squeak, and she tried valiantly to not die on the spot. She'd just called the _Black Widow_ 'ma'am'. There was no recovering from that.

"Agent Lewis, correct?" Darcy nodded, feeling somewhat petrified. "Dr. Foster's assistant. What do you need?"

Darcy swallowed, trying to make her brain function on some level other than sheer panic. Loki wasn't half as intimidating as Agent Romanoff. He was evil, she could deal with that. She could not deal with working with Natasha Fucking Romanoff. "Actually, I've been...reassigned..." The redhead's eyebrows were climbing higher on her forehead by the second, and the level of disdain in her expression with them.

"I see. Have you had your official orientation? I remember Agent Hill mentioning that anyone on Dr. Foster's project were to be treated as independent contractors."

"Huh?"

Apparently that was all the answer Agent Romanoff needed. She sighed heavily and started walking briskly, dragging Darcy along by her shoulder. "Come with me."

Twenty minutes later, Darcy had an appointment for a fitting and no more Saturday mornings in bed. Her sideways entrance into S.H.I.E.L.D. seemed to have skipped some pretty critical basic combat and weapons proficiency training.

And she still hadn't managed to ask the Black Widow any questions. Darcy decided she could skip it.

* * *

><p>After that slightly exhilarating failure, Darcy felt she deserved a break. And with a choice between Tony Stark's sense of humor, a potential green rage monster, someone who called the Black Widow 'Tasha', and a guy who still turned red every time her looked at Darcy...Well, Captain America was going to win every time.<p>

She'd done her fair share of papers on the propaganda machine that had been Steve Rogers before (and, sometimes, after) he had decided to go gallivanting across Nazi Germany with his 'Howling Commandos' and then mysteriously disappear. How could she not? Almost every poli-sci major Darcy knew was completely fascinated by him. He was Captain _America_, like a freakin' living Statue of Liberty. The USA's very own martyred saint. And then he'd come back after seventy years frozen in ice, and now Darcy was stuck trying to figure out how to turn popping _that_ cherry into a political slogan for her eventual grand takeover.

Steve, like Jane's crew back in New Mexico, seemed to gravitate towards rooftops these days, and that was where Darcy found him. He split most of his time between training and sketching, and he'd told Darcy that he didn't really know what to do with himself most of the time. It was hard not to feel bad for the guy.

"Hey! I've been looking for you!" Darcy tried not to snort when Steve jumped, startled by her greeting.

He half-turned to face her from where he was sitting, and Darcy noted—slightly smugly—that he'd turned faintly pink when he realized it was _her._ "A-Agent Lewis! Hello. What can I do for you?"

"What _indeed_." He turned even redder at her tone, and Darcy had to grin. "Sorry, sorry. You know I'm kidding, dude." Walking up to him, she leaned over his shoulder to get a peek at his sketchbook. "Doing another skyline?"

Steve shrugged, turning back to his drawing. "It's just changed so much. I don't know that I'll ever be used to it." He gestured vaguely to the spot on the bench beside him. "Have a seat. What can I do for you, Agent?"

"Jesus, Steve, call me Darcy. I promise I'm not here to be all official n' shit." Cap, despite—or maybe because of—his military background, was pretty wary of anything S.H.I.E.L.D. wanted him to do beyond just running around with the rest of the team and saving people.

"Sorry, Darce. I've just been fielding calls from reporters at all hours lately." He sighed tiredly. "Everyone wants to know who Captain America's voting for. S.H.I.E.L.D.'s been on me not to answer any of them. As if I know anything about politics these days."

"That sucks. I promise I'll resist the urge, my major or not." She pulled out her phone, running absentmindedly through the menus until she found the recorder. "What do you think of Ed?"

"Ed? Ed Hallison, you mean?" Steve shrugged again, and closed his sketchbook. "He's all right, I guess. I don't know much about him. Bruce has him up in the lab, most days." He grimaced. "I know how that is."

There was a long pause, and Darcy was just about to say something when Steve started speaking again. The words were halting and slow, like it was difficult to get them out, and his eyebrows were knitted together like he was concentrating or confused. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. "He—He doesn't—seem to like—Thor much." As soon as he said it, he relaxed and smiled at Darcy, apparently unaware that anything had been strange. "He's all right. Seems nice. Why do you ask?"

"Uh...huh." She paused, resisting the urge to scoot away from the Captain. "Uh, just curious. You know. Since he hasn't been on the team that long."

"It's been something like six months, Darce. That's a pretty long time."

Darcy forced a laugh. "Yeah, you would know." She pocketed her phone and stood. "You gonna do a portrait of him like you did everybody else, then?"

Steve froze a moment, and in that same slow voice said: "No. No, I don't think so."

"Right. I'm gonna—I'm gonna go now." Darcy hurried off the roof after that, typing notes into her phone as soon as the door was closed behind her.

* * *

><p>Barton was obviously her next choice after that little bit of weirdness, but he and the Widow were off on some weird 'recovery mission' in Russia that had apparently taken months to set up, and wouldn't be back until the next day. That was completely fine by Darcy. An Avenger-a-day kept the psychiatrists away, or something.<p>

God, there were too many capes in her life. Even if technically only two of them actually wore capes. Edna Mode would _not_ approve of her and Jane's choice in men.

Darcy cornered him as soon as he walked out of his debriefing, looking slightly dazed. Agent Romanoff was still in there, and Darcy was pretty sure she could hear shouting even through the soundproofed walls of the debriefing room. She tried to ignore it as she tiptoed up to the Avenger's resident Medievalist. "Hey there, Robin hood!"

He jumped. _Finally._ She'd been trying to get him for weeks, with his super-secret-agent-refined senses and all. He turned stiffly, and Darcy felt suddenly guilty at how very tired the sniper looked. "I promise it won't take long, dude. I just wanted to get your opinion on something."

Clint sighed. Why did everyone always _sigh_ around her? "What do you need, Darcy? I want to go home."

She winced and patted his shoulder gently, pulling out her phone with her other hand. "Just—what do you think of Ed?"

"Huh? Ed? Why?" Clint smirked. "Why, thinking of asking him out? Can I beat you to that?" He winked.

Darcy rolled her eyes and smacked an unbruised portion of his arm. "Didn't know you swung that way, Barton."

He grinned and waggled his eyebrows at her. "I don't."

"Uh-huh. Thought you had something with Black Widow."

Grimacing, Clint glanced at the door to the debriefing room. "Don't call her that. And...Yeah, not so much. Anymore, at least. Bad shit went down." He smirked again. "Above your security clearance, agent."

She stuck her tongue out. "Sorry. And I'll get there someday. And then I will know _all your shit_. Count on it. Anyways, answer the question and I'll let you go."

He wrinkled his nose. "He's all right." A pause. "He seems...really familiar. Maybe it's just the type, I don't know."

Well, that was interesting. "Huh. Try not to collapse on your way home, dude. See you later."

"Be easier if you were helping, Darce. Kidding! Kidding! I'll do my best."

* * *

><p>It was hard to find Dr. Banner somewhere there <em>wasn't<em> Tony, since he seemed to disappear over lunch and immediately at the end of every day. Not that she minded, but Darcy didn't think she could manage to ask anything when the two of them were being incomprehensible science-bros.

Unlike Hawkeye, Darcy made damn sure that Bruce Banner was aware that she was coming. She'd seen him go mean 'n green on the news enough times to know that she sure as _hell_ didn't want to have a personal encounter. Loki could be reasoned into not breaking her into a million tiny pieces when he was mad. Rage-monster she'd caused to appear, probably not so much.

"Agent...Lewis, was it? I remember you from the bar." He smiled slightly serenely. Of course that's where he remembered her from. Nobody forgot Darcy in-bar. She was still trying to decide if she thought that was funny or worrying.

"Yep! That's me. Listen, this probably sounds kinda weird, but I'm just getting everybody's opinions on Ed. Might make something, welcome the new guy in, you know?" She paused. "Just a little surprise, right?" And in her case, a possibly deadly one.

The scientist raised his eyebrows at her babble and shrugged. "Seems a bit late, doesn't it?"

Darcy froze, mentally flailing for an explanation. "Uh. Yeah, I know. Had to see if he was gonna stick around, right?"

"Mmm. I see." That...was an uncomfortably conspiratorial tone of voice. Well, any conclusions Banner drew were probably technically correct. Technically. "I like him. He's certainly taking his new transformation better than I did, although his greater sense of control might have something to do with that. His physiology is fascinating, the changes in his cellular structure seem to change every time I look at them, I'm sure that's the interference of Loki's magic—"

Darcy decided to hurry up and speak before he got any more techno-babble-y than that. "Um, wow, that's great I bet, I'm gonna—go—now—" She edged out of the room faster than was likely polite.

* * *

><p>Thor, she hadn't really meant to ask, but he just seemed so <em>lonely <em>these days. Darcy wasn't around much to keep track of things, since she wasn't working with Jane anymore and Loki had pretty much decided to co-opt most of her free time, but it seemed like the rest of the team was avoiding him. She doubted they were even aware they were doing it, too. But Jane was almost done with properly stabilizing her wormhole—so next time it wouldn't just collapse as soon as it got whoever it was through—and S.H.I.E.L.D. didn't want Thor out in the public much outside of missions. At least not until he had more thorough understanding of what, and was not, illegal on Earth.

He didn't even go to the training gyms anymore, since mortals weren't really up to fighting him one-on-one with Mjolnir. Mostly, Thor seemed to wander from breakroom to breakroom, looking for someone to talk to.

So when Darcy was getting a cup of coffee and nearly stumbled into him, she decided to throw the poor guy a bone. He looked like a depressed puppy anyways. "Hey, Thor. How ya doin'?"

He smiled half-heartedly at her. "I am as well as can be, Darcy Lewis. There is much trouble in the world these days. I am sorry you are not there to attend Jane anymore, she has told me she misses you."

Darcy winced. She'd been avoiding Jane after she'd heard the story of Loki burning a book in her and Thor's apartment after Darcy had come over to watch the Princess Bride. The astrophysicist was busy enough without an ex-intern dragging supervillains into her personal life (more than they already were, of course). "Yeah, well. There's a lot of data and stuff in this project I've been assigned too, and she's pretty busy herself. Maybe we can all hang out when this is over with."

Thor beamed. "I would like that very much, Darcy Lewis."

"I'll make myself a note or something, 'kay?" He nodded in response, still smiling. "So, uh, what do you think of Ed?"

The smile faded quickly. "He seems a great hero. His exploits are most grand, especially for a mortal such as himself. I do not think he likes me, though. I do not understand why. The rest of our band...he seems to like their company well enough." Thor paused. "There is something strange about him. He reminds me of someone, but I cannot think who."

Darcy resisted the urge to sigh. "I'm sure he'll come around eventually, big guy." Yeah, no. "I gotta get back to work." Thor nodded sadly, and she left.

* * *

><p><em>And last, but he certainly wouldn't think of himself as least...<em>

"So you like him too?" Darcy took a giant chomp of her Toaster Strudel, having decided that she'd had enough Pop-Tarts. For once in her life.

Tony stopped idly spinning in the chair he'd stolen from one of her coworker's desk. "Well, yeah. He's a likeable guy. Pepper thinks the whole Loki-magic thing's a bit weird, though."

Darcy paused. "Pepper's got clearance for that? I didn't know she was working for S.H.I.E.L.D. too these days. They get everyone, huh?"

Tony grinned. "Nah, she's still all mine. Security clearance higher than yours, though, kid. Being Iron Man's girlfriend has it's benefits."

"I don't know that that's a benefit." Darcy's response was absent, something clicking into place. "Doesn't work for S.H.I.E.L.D., huh? That's gotta be weird for paperwork."

"I think she likes the challenge, honestly."His pocket beeped. "Speak of the devil. See you, Lewis."


End file.
